03/05/01: Knowing Women, Ice Cream

Hi,

Did you watch the "Mole" on TV? I really enjoyed this show, especially the
next to last episode. The final three contestants were each locked in a
hotel room. The only way they could get out was to solve puzzles and used
clues in their rooms, but the clues were to help their teammates to get out
of their rooms. I would have loved to been in this situation with two
friends, and try to work together to get out. I was thinking, perhaps one
day, a group of us can take some vacation to a new country, and half of us
would create the same type of logic challenges for the other half, and vice
versa. I think that would be tremendously fun.

I also wondered if I would have done well in the "Mole", or if I would have
been a good mole if I were picked. Let me know if you think you would have
been a good mole. Just being on the show would have been great. You get
to travel all over France and Spain, trying to solve interesting puzzle and
accomplish team tasks.

I am helping to organize a ski trip to June Mountain for my young adult
group at church, from Friday, March 16th to Sunday, March 18th. We have a
few more spaces available. The cost for the food and lodging is only $70.
Let me know ASAP if you're interested in joining us, and I'll send you more
details.

Many of you really enjoyed the weekly newsletter when it contained logic
puzzles. I finally bought a book with more of these things. From now on,
every week, I'll add a logic puzzle to the weekly emails. The book is
"Quick-to-Solve Brainteasers" by J.J. Mendoza Fernandez.

This week's puzzle is: "A doctor has a brother who is an attorney in
Alabama, but the attorney in Alabama does not have a brother who is a
doctor. How can this be?"

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could ensure that your
child has one experience that you have had yourself, what would you want it
to be?"

Anna Man and Cherry Lu forwarded the humor and inspirational pieces,
respectively.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
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Things You Should Know About Women

Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like
they're actually in control.

Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant; so
don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.

Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in
the closet; you 'just don't understand'.

Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear
them.

Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to
trap you into feeling guilty.

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill
it, even if they have nothing to say.

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's
why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.

Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's
a spider or a wasp involved.

Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they
don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three
people.

Women always go to public rest rooms in groups. It gives them a chance to
gossip.

Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing.
It might be the lottery calling.

Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't
need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.

Women think all beer is the same.

Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the
shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain
forest.

Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that
allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them
of how horrible things could be.

If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes
and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll
pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each
day.

Women brush their hair before bed.

Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.

Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there
in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'

Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men
just get a large bowl to share.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men
kick cats.

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two
weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will
talk for three hours.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.

Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting
lost using a shortcut.

Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'

PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter (or at least men think it means
that). PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.

The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it
does in man-language.

Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the
direction that they are heading.

All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it.
Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they
really have 5 pounds to gain.

If it is not Valentine's Day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can
probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'

Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.

Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into
the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All
women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking
out the trash, and picking up the check.

If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet
cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay
up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys (which gets them in more
trouble).

Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a
flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they
'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it
themselves.

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men
arrested.

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to
the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to
Gilbert Gottfried, do you?

It's okay for women to dance with each other, but you don't see men dancing
together.

Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and
spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women
checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other
women.

The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the
same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my GOD, there's
another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!'
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Ice Cream

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if
he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is
great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets
us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman
remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know
how to pray. Asking God for ice-cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my son
burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I
held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was
certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a
great prayer." "Really?" my son asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark
had started this whole thing), "To bad she never asks God for ice cream. A
little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kid's ice cream at the end of the meal. My son
stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest
of my life. He picked up his sundae and without a word, walked over and
placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this
is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good
already."

The End