Abby Li's Dad

For almost six years (1996 to 2002), I sent out a weekly email to my friends. This blog serves as an archive for those emails. The entries starting in May 2006 are my personal reflections on life as a father to Abby, a husband to Melissa, and everything else.

Monday, October 13, 1997

Humor 10/13/97: Guy Kawasaki

Hi everyone,

Welcome to my weekly humor email for those of you who I have just met at
our church Fall Conference, or if I got your updated email address. I
really enjoyed the Fall Conference and hope that for those of you who
went, you had a great experience as well. I'm also glad that I had a
chance to see and fellowship with many of you.

This week's recommendation for movie, CD, book or something else is
definitely in the "something else" category. For those of you that like
to sing, especially Praise songs, I would like to recommend the theme
song of our conference, "I Will Run To You." Here's the copyright
info: ©1996 Darlene Zschech (Hillsongs) (Admin. in U.S. & Canada by
Integrity's Hosanna! Music) I can send you the lyrics if you want, but
I don't have the chords yet. Actually, if you have the chords (being on
one of the music teams, please send me a copy. Thanks!) I think it's
really a great song.

Another recommendation is that if you are helping out with planning for
your church's conference, I would highly recommend the speaker that we
had, Frank Chan. He's a really good speaker, and is very genuine and
caring. His five speaker sessions were based on the theme of "The
Runner, The Race and the Prize". If you're interested in getting more
info, please email me.

Okay, let's get to the humor email. It's not exactly humor, but I think
it's interesting, and similar in nature to the "25 Lessons in Life"
email I sent out two weeks ago. Actually, I heard Guy Kawasaki speak at
Congress '95 (A huge Christian conference in Boston every year), and
he's a pretty good speaker as well. Thanks to Evelyn Su for forwarding
this email to me.

Take care and keep in touch!

-Josh.
________________________________________________

Guy Kawasaki was one of the founders of Apple Computer who helped create
the Mac.

Palo Alto High School Baccalaureate Speech 6/11/95 "Hindsight" by Guy
Kawasaki

Speaking to you today marks a milestone in my life. I am 40 years old.
22 years ago, when I was in your seat, I never, ever thought I would be
40 years old.

The implications of being your speaker frightens me. For one thing,
when a 40 year old geeser spoke at my baccalaureate ceremony, he was
about the last person I'd believe. I have no intention of giving you
the boring speech that you are dreading. This speech will be short,
sweet, and not boring.

I am going to talk about hindsights today. Hindsights that I've
accumulated in the 20 years from where you are to where I am. Don't
blindly believe me. Don't take what I say as "truth." Just listen.
Perhaps my experience can help you out a tiny bit.

I will present them ala David Letterman. Yes, 40-year old people can
still stay up past 11.

#10: Live off your parents as long as possible.

When I spoke at this ceremony two years ago, this was the most popular
hindsight -- except from the point of view of the parents. Thus, I knew
I was on the right track.

I was a diligent Oriental in high school and college. I took
college-level classes and earned college-level credits. I rushed
through college in 3 1/2 years. I never traveled or took time off
because I thought it wouldn't prepare me for work and it would delay my
graduation. Frankly, I blew it.

You are going to work the rest of your lives, so don't be in a rush to
start. Stretch out your college education. Now is the time to suck
life into your lungs -- before you have a mortgage, kids, and car
payments. Take a whole semester off to travel overseas. Take jobs and
internships that pay less money or no money. Investigate your passions
on your parent's nickel. Or dime. Or quarter. Or dollar. Your goal
should be to extend college to at least six years.

Delay, as long as possible, the inevitable entry into the workplace and
a lifetime of servitude to bozos who know less than you do, but who make
more money. Also, you shouldn't deprive your parents of the pleasure of
supporting you.

#9: Pursue joy, not happiness.

This is probably the hardest lesson of all to learn. It probably seems
to you that the goal in life is to be "happy." Oh, you maybe have to
sacrifice and study and work hard, but, by and large, happiness should
be predictable.

Nice house. Nice car. Nice material things. Take my word for it,
happiness is temporary and fleeting. Joy, by contrast, is
unpredictable. It comes from pursuing interests and passions that do
not obviously result in happiness.

Pursuing joy, not happiness will translate into one thing over the next
few years for you: Study what you love. This may also not be popular
with parents. When I went to college, I was "marketing driven." It's
also an Oriental thing. I looked at what fields had the greatest job
opportunities and prepared myself for them. This was brain dead. There
are so many ways to make a living in the world, it doesn't matter that
you've taken all the "right" courses. I don't think one person on the
original Macintosh team had a classic "computer science" degree.

You parents have a responsibility in this area. Don't force your kids
to follow in your footsteps or to live your dreams. My father was a
senator in Hawaii. His dream was to be a lawyer, but he only had a high
school education. He wanted me to be a lawyer. For him, I went to law
school. For me, I quit after two weeks. I view this a terrific
validation of my inherent intelligence.

#8: Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in life is to accept the known
and resist the unknown. You should, in fact, do exactly the opposite:
challenge the known and embrace the unknown.

Let me tell you a short story about ice. In the late 1800s there was a
thriving ice industry in the Northeast. Companies would cut blocks of
ice from frozen lakes and ponds and sell them around the world. The
largest single shipment was 200 tons that was shipped to India. 100
tons got there unmelted, but this was enough to make a profit.

These ice harvesters, however, were put out of business by companies
that invented mechanical ice makers. It was no longer necessary to cut
and ship ice because companies could make it in any city during any
season.

These ice makers, however, were put out of business by refrigerator
companies. If it was convenient to make ice at a manufacturing plant,
imagine how much better it was to make ice and create cold storage in
everyone's home.

You would think that the ice harvesters would see the advantages of ice
making and adopt this technology. However, all they could think about
was the known: better saws, better storage, better transportation.

Then you would think that the ice makers would see the advantages of
refrigerators and adopt this technology. The truth is that the ice
harvesters couldn't embrace the unknown and jump their curve to the next
curve.

Challenge the known and embrace the unknown, or you'll be like the ice
harvester and ice makers.

#7: Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and
play non-contact sports.

Learn a foreign language. I studied Latin in high school because I
thought it would help me increase my vocabulary. It did, but trust me
when I tell you it's very difficult to have a conversation in Latin
today other than at the Vatican. And despite all my efforts, the Pope
has yet to call for my advice.

Learn to play a musical instrument. My only connection to music today
is that I was named after Guy Lombardo. Trust me: it's better than
being named after Guy's brother, Carmen. Playing a musical instrument
could be with me now and stay with me forever. Instead, I have to buy
CDs at Tower.

I played football. I loved football. Football is macho. I was a
middle linebacker -- arguably, one of the most machs. That is, a sport
you can play when you're over the hill.

It will be as difficult when you're 40 to get twenty two guys together
in a stadium to play football as it is to have a conversation in Latin,
but all the people who wore cute, white tennis outfits can still play
tennis. And all the macho football players are sitting around watching
television and drinking beer.

#6: Continue to learn.

Learning is a process, not an event. I thought learning would be over
when I got my degree. It's not true. You should never stop learning.
Indeed, it gets easier to learn once you're out of school because it's
easier to see the relevance of why you need to learn.

You're learning in a structured, dedicated environment right now. On
your parent's nickel. But don't confuse school and learning. You can
go to school and not learn a thing. You can also learn a tremendous
amount without school.

#5: Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like
yourself.

I know a forty year old woman who was a drug addict. She is a mother of
three. She traced the start of her drug addiction to smoking dope in
high school.

I'm not going to lecture you about not taking drugs. Hey, I smoked dope
in high school. Unlike Bill Clinton, I inhaled. Also unlike Bill
Clinton, I exhaled.

This woman told me that she started taking drugs because she hated
herself when she was sober. She did not like drugs so much as much as
she hated herself. Drugs were not the cause though she thought they
were the solution.

She turned her life around only after she realized that she was in a
downward spiral. Fix your problem. Fix your life. Then you won't need
to take drugs. Drugs are neither the solution nor the problem.

Frankly, smoking, drugs, alcohol -- and using an IBM PC -- are signs of
stupidity. End of discussion.

#4: Don't get married too soon.

I got married when I was 32. That's about the right age. Until you're
about that age, you may not know who you are. You also may not know who
you're marrying.

I don't know one person who got married too late. I know many people
who got married too young. If you do decide to get married, just keep
in mind that you need to accept the person for what he or she is right
now.

#3: Play to win and win to play.

Playing to win is one of the finest things you can do. It enables you
to fulfill your potential. It enables you to improve the world and,
conveniently, develop high expectations for everyone else too.

And what if you lose? Just make sure you lose while trying something
grand. Avinash Dixit, an economics professor at Princeton, and Barry
Nalebuff, an economics and management professor at the Yale School of
Organization and Management, say it this way: "If you are going to fail,
you might as well fail at a difficult task. Failure causes others to
downgrade their expectations of you in the future. The seriousness of
this problem depends on what you attempt."

In its purest form, winning becomes a means, not an end, to improve
yourself and your competition.

Winning is also a means to play again. The unexamined life may not be
worth living, but the unlived life is not worth examining. The rewards
of winning -- money, power, satisfaction, and self-confidence -- should
not be squandered.

Thus, in addition to playing to win, you have a second, more important
obligation: To compete again to the depth and breadth and height that
your soul can reach. Ultimately, your greatest competition is yourself.

#2: Obey the absolutes.

Playing to win, however, does not mean playing dirty. As you grow older
and older, you will find that things change from absolute to relative.
When you were very young, it was absolutely wrong to lie, cheat, or
steal.

As you get older, and particularly when you enter the workforce, you
will be tempted by the "system" to think in relative terms. "I made more
money." "I have a nicer car." "I went on a better vacation."

Worse, "I didn't cheat as much on my taxes as my partner." "I just have
a few drinks. I don't take cocaine." "I don't pad my expense reports
as much as others."

This is completely wrong. Preserve and obey the absolutes as much as
you can. If you never lie, cheat, or steal, you will never have to
remember who you lied to, how you cheated, and what you stole.

There absolutely are absolute rights and wrongs.

#1: Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.

This is the most important hindsight. It doesn't need much
explanation. I'll just repeat it: Enjoy your family and friends before
they are gone.

Nothing -- not money, power, or fame -- can replace your family and
friends or bring them back once they are gone. Our greatest joy has
been our baby, and I predict that children will bring you the greatest
joy in your lives -- especially if they graduate from college in four
years.

And now, I'm going to give you one extra hindsight because I've probably
cost your parents thousands of dollars today. It's something that I
hate to admit to.

By and large, the older you get, the more you're going to realize that
your parents were right. More and more -- until finally, you become
your parents. I know you're all saying, "Yeah, right." Mark my words.

Remember these ten things: if just one of them helps you helps just one
of you, this speech will have been a success:

#10: Live off your parents as long as possible.

#9: Pursue joy, not happiness.

#8: Challenge the known and embrace the unknown.

#7: Learn to speak a foreign language, play a musical instrument, and
play non-contact sports.

#6: Continue to learn.

#5: Learn to like yourself or change yourself until you can like
yourself.

#4: Don't get married too soon.

#3: Play to win and win to play.

#2: Obey the absolutes.

#1: Enjoy your family and friends before they are gone.

Congratulations on your graduation. Thank you very much.

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