Humor 11/3/97: Bad Days & Poor Planning

Hi everyone,

I hope all of you had a good weekend. I certainly had a great time,
especially at the Swing ballroom dancing event this past Saturday. For
those of you who came, thanks for coming despite the downpour. I think
we had about 40 people. For those of you who couldn't make it, I hope
you can make it next time, perhaps sometime in December. Rich are I are
thinking of either organizing a group lesson in Waltz, Tango, Rhumba, or
Swing II. Let me know which dance style you would prefer. Sorry for
those of you not in the Boston area and can not partake in the fun.
Maybe you can organize something in your area.

This week's humor comes to us from Dave Shim. Enjoy!

-Josh.
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Subject: So you think you had a bad day!

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the
newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation
Board. This is this Bricklayer's report ... a true story.

Dear Sir;
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the
cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust
the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working
alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my
work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later
were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand,

I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached

to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied
the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs
of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight
is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost
my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,
I
proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity
of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward
at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull,
minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3,
accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley
which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately
by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now
beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the
ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight
of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you
again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent
down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I
met
the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles,
broken
tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the
pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,
in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above
me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the
rope
and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back onto
me.