Humor 11/23/98: A Good Story and Real Friends

Hey,

I hope things are going well. I'm done with mid-terms and have a few
days off this week for Thanksgiving. This will give me a chance to
catch up on some of the readings I have for various classes.

This Thursday is Thanksgiving, so I hope that each of you will take the
time to thank God for the blessings in your life. I'm truly thankful to
God for:
1) An opportunity to study at UCLA
2) Good friends and classmates here in LA
3) The beautiful weather

What are you thankful for?

This week's humor was forwarded to me by Ling Chow, and the
inspirational piece came from Lisa Chiou. Enjoy and have a great
Thanksgiving!

-Josh.
________________________________

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe, as it
happens in Transylvania. They were driving a rental car along a rather
deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely
see 10 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of
control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car
swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks
over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her
head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows
he has to carry her to the nearest phone.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road.
After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which
is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately
blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We've
been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt.
Can I please use your phone??"

"I'm sorry," replies the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My
master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him." Bob brings his wife
in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may
have misled you. I am not a medical doctor. I am a scientist.
However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, I have had basic
medical training. I will see what I can do. "Igor, bring them down to
the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her
downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in
the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries; so Igor
places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's
master looks worried. "Things are serious,
Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but
to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more!

The Hills' deaths upsets Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the
steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here
that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring,
almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the
lab, his eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty Hill's
hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is
further amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he
dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to
his master,...





(Don't page down unless you have a strong stomach...)













You sure you want to know?










Can you guess?











"Master, Master!......The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"
______________________________________

Real Friends

Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a friend will stand by
you even when you are wrong...

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his
life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14
years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you
clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a
fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
431 S. Burnside Ave. #12 B
Los Angeles CA 90036
(323)936-8476
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/