Humor 9/21/98: 25 Responses For Sleeping At Your Desk

Hey everyone,

Welcome back to my weekly humor emails. After getting here to LA, I've
been very busy doing all kinds of errands. I did attend a two-day math
refresher course that was excellent. I bought a laptop, bought
furniture for my room, got insurance for my car, got CA driver's
license, registered my car, etc. I have to say that the CA Department
of Motor Vehicles is pretty efficient. The wait on the lines were only
about 5 to 10 minutes! However, it is really expensive to register a
car from outside of California.

Here's the thought provoking question for the week: "How much of your
clothing has gone unworn for at least one year? What is the one item of
clothing that you would be least likely to get rid of? Why?"

This week's humor email was forwarded by Jeanie Chou, and the
inspirational story after that was forwarded by Anna Man. Sorry if
you've already received either from them.

Take care and keep in touch!

-Josh.
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Twenty five best responses if found asleep at your desk

25. "Oh, Man! Come in at 6 in the morning and look what happens!"

24. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

23. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed
about work!"

22. "You don't discriminate against those with Latient Atrophy Zymosis
Yeast syndrome, DO YOU?!?"

21. "Gee, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day."

20. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

19. "Oh, Hi, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

18. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the
last time management course you sent me to."

17. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"

16. "I was just meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a
new paradigm!"

15. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"

14. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"

13. "I'm doing the "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I
learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."

12. "It worked well for Reagan, didn't it?"

11. "This is a highly specific Yoga position to relieve work-related
stress."

10. "Just pacing myself for the all-nighter tonight!"

9. "I was working smarter-not harder."

8. "Auggh! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a
solution to our biggest problem."

7. "I'm in the management training program."

6. "The coffee machine is broken...."

5. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."

4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the
workaholic!"

2. "It's okay... I'm still billing the client."

And the #1 response if found asleep at your desk:

1. "...and I especially thank you for my excellent boss, Amen!"

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The power of a child's love.

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another
baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son,
Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They find out that the new baby is
going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings
to his sister in Mommy's tummy.

The pregnancy progresses normally for Karen, an active member of the
Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee.

Then the labor pains come. Every five minutes...every minute. But
complications arise during delivery. Hours of labor. Would a
C-section be required?

Finally, Michael's little sister is born. But she is in serious
condition. With siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushes the
infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital,
Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inch by. The little girl gets worse. The pediatric specialist
tells the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the
worst."
Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot.
They have fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby - now
they plan a funeral.

Michael keeps begging his parents to let him see his sister.
"I want to sing to her," he says.

Week two in intensive care. It looks as if a funeral will come before
the week is over. Michael keeps nagging about singing to his sister,
but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. But Karen makes up her
mind.
She will take Michael whether they like it or not. If he doesn't see
his sister now, he may never see her alive.

She dresses him in an oversized scrub suit and marches him into ICU.
He looks like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognizes
him
as a child and bellows, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are
allowed". The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild
mannered
lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line.

"He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"

Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazes at the tiny infant
losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing. In the pure hearted
voice
of a 3-year-old, Michael sings:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
you make me happy when skies are gray --- "

Instantly the baby girl responds. The pulse rate becomes calm and
steady.

Michael keeps singing. "You never know, dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away---"

The ragged, strained breathing becomes as smooth as a kitten's purr.

Keep on singing, Michael. "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamed I held you in my arms..."

Michael's little sister relaxes at last, a healing rest seems to
sweep over her.

Keep on singing, Michael. Tears conquer the face of the bossy head
nurse.
Karen glows.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine
away."

Funeral plans are scrapped. The next day - the very next day -
the little girl is well enough to go home! Woman's Day magazine called
it "the miracle of a brother's song." The medical staff just called it
a miracle.

Karen called it a miracle of God's love!


NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE

Send this to all the people that have touched your life.