Humor 9/20/99: Star Wars & Eight Gifts

Hi everyone,

I drove back to LA on Saturday. I'll send you all my new address and
phone number in a separate email. Sunday after church, some friends and
I watched "Runaway Bride". If you haven't seen it, I would recommend
it. It's a good romantic comedy.

I had no Internet access this weekend because my phone was not hooked
up. Hopefully, it will be hooked up tomorrow. This morning, I came
back to school to use the Internet connection. However, I had to get
Anderson Laptop Support to re-configure my laptop.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you had the time and
money to take any courses, what kind of course or class would you take?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Aaron Mata, followed by an
inspirational story forwarded by Anna Man. Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

Lucasfilm just announced there's going to be an extra scene included in
the DVD release of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming up next year!
Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to
Luke, and ties up some loose ends created with the release of Episode
1... The Empire
Strikes Back: Extra-Special Edition
-----------------------------------------------

INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER: A furious lightsaber duel is
underway.

DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A
quick move by VADER, chops off LUKE's hand. It goes spinning off into
the ventilation shaft.

LUKE backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but
straight down.

VADER Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
LUKE He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
VADER No... I am your father!
LUKE No, it's not true! It's impossible.
VADER Search your feelings... you know it to be true...
LUKE NO!
VADER Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass
droid of yours?
LUKE Threepio?
VADER Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...
LUKE No...
VADER Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no
hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the
swamp...
LUKE I destroyed your precious Death Star!
VADER When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a
trade Federation Droid Control ship!
LUKE Well, it's not my fault...
VADER Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I
wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the
Sith...waahhh wahhh!"
LUKE Shut up...
VADER You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated
the Jedi knights!
LUKE I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon
VADER Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the
Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer..
LUKE looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.
VADER I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are,
but you sure ain't mine...
LUKE takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the
shaft.
VADER looks after him.
VADER Get a haircut!
____________________________

Eight Gifts that Do Not Cost A Cent

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response.
Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back, and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the
love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons.
Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple
"Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for
a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere,
You look great in red," "You did a super job,"
or "That was a wonderful meal"
can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way
to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better
than to be left alone.
Be sensitive to those times and give
the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is
to extend a kind word to someone.
Really, it's not that hard to say,
Hello or Thank You.
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818)461-8930
Instant Messenger ID: joshli
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/