Humor 8/8/99: Cow Pies & Keep Your Fork

Hi everyone,

On Saturday I went to the progressive dinner hosted by several people
from the Young Adult Fellowship at my church for the summer. It
reminded me of the time we hosted a progressive dinner in Watertown for
the young adults in my church in Boston. For those of you who don't
know what a progressive dinner is, basically, you go to one house for
appetizers, one for the main meal, and another for dessert. It's a lot
of fun. You should try to organize something like that with your
friends.

I'll be in Boston from Friday, August 20th to Sunday, August 22nd for
Karen and Moses' wedding. I hope to see some of you that weekend!

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could invent one new
home appliance, what would it do?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Elaine Wong, followed by an
inspirational story forwarded by John Chao. Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

A door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new
territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the
door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and
dumps cow patties all over the carpet.

He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that
horse manure, I'll eat every chunk of it."

She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?"

The Salesman says, "Why do you ask?"

She says "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on
yet."
____________________________

Keep Your Fork

There was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had
been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in
order", she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to
discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs
she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and
what outfit she wanted to be buried in. The woman also requested to be
buried with her favorite Bible.

Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the
woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one
more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" came the pastor's
reply. "This is very important," the woman continued..."I want to be
buried with a fork in my right hand." The pastor stood looking at the
woman, not knowing quite what to say... "That surprises you, doesn't
it?" the woman asked.

"Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor. The
woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and
potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main
course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say,"
keep your fork." It was my favorite part because I knew that something
better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie.
Something wonderful, and with substance!

So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my
hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you
to tell them: "Keep Your Fork"...."The best is yet to come."

The pastor's eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman
goodbye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her
before her death. But he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of
heaven than he did. She KNEW that something better was coming.

At the funeral people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw
the pretty dress she was wearing and her favorite Bible and the fork
placed in her right hand. Over and over the pastor heard the question
"What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message,
the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman
shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what
it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop
thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be
able to stop thinking about it either.

He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it
remind you oh so gently, that the best is yet to come...
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
420 James Road #1
Palo Alto CA 94306
(650)565-8674
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/