Humor 6/1/99: Kid's Proverbs & The Graduation Gift

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend. I had a lot of fun at our
church retreat. The speaker, Dr. David Miller was excellent. The
weather was perfect. In terms of free time activities, the highlights
were hiking in the San Bernadino mountains and staying up late to play
cards and give each other logic/mystery puzzles.

Do you know anyone who is moving to LA? I need to help my future
roommates find someone to sublet the room I will be moving into. Please
ask anyone who may need housing in the LA area to email me at:
joshli@post.harvard.edu. Thanks!

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could live the life
of any fictional character, which character would it be?"

This week's humor email was forwarded by Jennifer Chin, and the
inspirational story was forwarded by Susan Hasegawa. Enjoy!

-Josh.
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KID'S PROVERBS
A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each
kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with
the rest.

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You...... Mess It Up.
Better Be Safe Than...... Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike While The...... Bug Is Close.
It's Always Darkest Before...... Daylight Savings Time.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of....... Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But..... How?
Don't Bite The Hand That...... Looks Dirty.
No News Is....... Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A....... Mr.
You Can't Teach An Old Dog New...... Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll...... Stink In The Morning.
Love All, Trust...... Me
The Pen Is Mightier Than The...... Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is...... The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There's...... Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who...... Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is...... Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's...... The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What....... You Put On To Go To Bed.
Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And...... You Have To
Blow Your Nose.
None Are So Blind As...... Helen Keller.
Children Should Be Seen And Not...... Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed...... Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You...... See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind...... Get Out Of The Way.
There Is No Fool Like...... Aunt Edie.
____________________________

The Graduation Gift

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months
he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and
knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he
wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his
father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his
graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father
told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much
he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and
found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed
in gold.

Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your
money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the
Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He
had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was
very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him
since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he
received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed
all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately
and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled
his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.

With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father
had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11: "And if ye, being evil,
know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your
Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?"

As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports
car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the
words... PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged
as we expected?
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
431 S. Burnside Ave. #12 B
Los Angeles CA 90036
(323)936-8476
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/