Humor 5/17/99: Nu Yawk, Nu Yawk & Things to Remember

Hi everyone,

It was a beautiful weekend here in Southern Cal, and I had a good time
hanging out with friends in Newport Beach and Irvine. This coming
weekend, I'm looking forward to visiting Seattle and seeing some good
friends from college and my old church in Boston. Next week's humor
email will probably be a day or two late.

Most likely I'll be working in Silicon Valley this summer in high tech
marketing, doing something related to eCommerce. I'm still waiting to
hear back from a few companies. I can't wait to see you all in the Bay
Area, go to Napa for some wine tasting, travel around the area, etc. I
think the summer will be awesome.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have any type
of fresh cut flowers delivered to your home every week, what one type
would you pick?"

A few months ago, I sent out a humor email about Bawstin. This week's
humor email comes from Dave Shim, and it's about my hometown, New York.
After that is an inspirational piece forwarded by Anna Man.

Enjoy!

-Josh.

P.S. By the way, even though you get emails from this joshli@ucla.edu
address, please don't send any emails to this address. I only check
this once a week when I send out these humor emails. Please email me at
joshli@post.harvard.edu, which is my permanent forwarding email address.

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The Top Twenty Signs You're from New York

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means
Manhattan.
2. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.
3. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
Building
4. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but
can't find Wisconsin on a map.
5. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
6. The subway makes sense.
7. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
8. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
makes you multi-lingual.
9. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.
10. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple"
11.Your door has more than three locks.
12.You go to a hockey game for the fighting....In the stands....To
participate.
13.Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.
14.The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
15.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression
16.You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
17.You complain about having to mow it.
18.You are a skee-ball juggernaut.
19.You consider Westchester "Upstate". (Because it is, DUH!)
20.You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wagner.

Bonus Points:
21. When you say "New York" you mean New York City. The rest of the
state is not worth mentioning.
22. The purpose of the Governor is to give our hard-earned tax dollars
to the undeserving people upstate.
23. You know that nobody actually pronounces "33rd and 3rd" as
"turdy-turd an' turd"
24. Jaywalking is an important skill you were taught when learning how
to cross the street.
25. Pedestrians have the right of way at all times, unless you are
driving a car, in which case they are a nuisance and all deserve to be
shot.
26. People from Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, the Bronx and New
Jersey are referred to as "Bridge and Tunnel People."
27. You know that all people from places outside of New York/Tri State
Area are inbred hillbillies and often have six fingers.
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Things To Remember

Your presence is a present to the world.
You're unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.
Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You'll make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.
Don't put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal, and your prize.
Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem, the heavier it gets.
Don't take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.
Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Remember where you've parked.
Life's treasures are people-together.
Realize that nothing is ever too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have health and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a star.
And don't ever forget-for even a day-how very special you are.
And also, you shouldn't leave home without a major credit card.
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
431 S. Burnside Ave. #12 B
Los Angeles CA 90036
(323)936-8476
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/