Humor 7/5/99: Salary Theorem & What I have learned

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a great July 4th weekend. I went down to LA for Ben &
Eileen's wedding. It was a beautiful wedding that went very smoothly.
It was good to see so many of my friends from Boston. Steve Lee took
pictures with his digital camera. I'm sure Ben will post some of these
pictures eventually on the Internet when he gets back from the
honeymoon.

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This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could be instantly
fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak,
which would it be?"

The humor was forwarded by Elaine Wong, followed by an inspirational
story forwarded by Anna Man. Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

Salary Theorem

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can
never earn as much as business executives and sales people."

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on
the following two postulates:
Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time

Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money

Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity,
regardless of the amount of work done.

Conclusion:
The less you know, the more you make.
____________________________

(Spoken by a mentor to a young friend.)

What I have learned
I've learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned-
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me
the right to be cruel.

I've learned-
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned-
that just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned-
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned-
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and what
a tragedy it would be if they believed it

I've learned-
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned-
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned-
that no matter how badly your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned-
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned-
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I've learned-
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I've learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children,
they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned-
that your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I've learned-
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned-
that the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I've learned-
that it's hard to determine where to draw the line
between being nice and not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

Send this to all the people in whom you have faith.
"Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you care for them."
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
420 James Road #1
Palo Alto CA 94306
(650)565-8674
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/