Humor 8/21/00: Short Quiz & Lifeline

Hi everyone,

I went to the Getty Center this weekend and also went to the Hollywood
Bowl to hear John Williams' movie music. I took a lot of pictures of
the Getty Center and the surrounding views. I'll upload my pictures in
the future so you can take a look. The Getty is an amazing place, so
you should definitely go if you have not visited before.

The responses to last week's question were "Ally McBeal, Married With
Children, and Sex in the City".

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have been the
author of any single book already written, which book would you want to
have penned?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Evelyn Lau (I worked for 6 years at
Andersen, and don't remember taking this quiz! ?), followed by an
inspirational piece forwarded by Monica Quock.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and measures whether
you are qualified to be a "professional". Scroll down for each answer.
The questions are not that difficult.


1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?












The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and
close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things
in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?













Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the
refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the
elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through
the repercussions of your actions.

3. The lion is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend
except one. Which animal does not attend?



















Correct Answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. This
tests your memory. OK, even if you did not answer the first three
questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your
abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles.
How do you manage it?
















Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the
animal conference.

This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to
Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they
tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several
correct answers.

Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that
most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
__________________________________________

After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church's pastor once
again slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and gave a very brief
introduction of his childhood friend. With that, an elderly man stepped
up to the pulpit to speak:

"A father, his son, and a friend of his son were sailing off the Pacific
Coast," he began, "when a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to
get back to shore. The waves were so high, that even though the father
was an experienced sailor, he could not keep the boat upright, and the
three were swept into the ocean."

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye contact with two
teenagers who were, for the first time since the service began, looking
somewhat interested in his story. He continued, "Grabbing a rescue
line, the father had to make the most excruciating decision of his
life.... to which boy he would throw the other end of the line? He only
had seconds to make the decision. The father knew that his son was a
Christian, and he also knew that his son's friend was not. The agony of
his decision could not be matched by the torrent of waves. As the father
yelled out, 'I love you, son!' he threw the line to his son's friend.

By the time he pulled the friend back to the capsized boat, his son had
disappeared beyond the raging swells into the black of night. His body
was never recovered.

By this time, the two teenagers were sitting straighter in the pew,
waiting for the next words to come out of the old man's mouth. "The
father," he continued, "knew his son would step into eternity with
Jesus, and he could not bear the thought of his son's friend stepping
into an eternity without Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed his son. How
great is the love of God that He should do the same for us." With that,
the old man turned and sat back down in his chair as silence filled the
room.

Within minutes after the service ended, the two teenagers were at the
old man's side. "That was a nice story," politely started one of the
boys, "but I don't think it was very realistic for a father to give up
his son's life in hopes that the other boy would become a Christian."

"Well, you've got a point there," the old man replied, glancing down at
his worn Bible. A big smile broadened his narrow face, and he once
again looked up at the boys and said, "It sure isn't very realistic, is
it? But I'm standing here today to tell you that THAT story gives me a
glimpse of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son for
me. You see.... I was the son's friend."