10/9/00: Family Ties, Simple Vs. Real

Hi,

I had a great weekend at the APEX/NAAAP Conference. How was your weekend?
Next year's conference will be in New York City, so I should be returning
home for that one.

My Hunter H.S. big sister, Irene Chan, who I have not seen in 15 years,
came to the conference from Minneapolis. I also had a chance to see
friends from college that I haven't seen in a long time, Brent Chinn,
Nelson Wang, and Jeff Yang. So it was a good time of seeing some old
friends. It was also a good time of meeting a lot of new people from all
over the country.

After the Ammy Awards, I got Garrett Wang's (Star Trek Voyager) autograph
and took a picture with him. I chatted with him briefly. He seems like a
really nice guy. I also talked to Curtis, the guy from "Big Brother". He
also seems very nice. He told me that he used to go to Redeemer in NYC.

Martin Yan's (Yan Can Cook) workshop was excellent. In addition to giving
us some instructions on Chinese cooking, he was also extremely funny. I
didn't expect him to be such as comedian.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could meet any current
or past actor or actress, who would you want to meet?"

This week's humor was forwarded from Dave Shim. The puzzle is from one of
my weekly emails in 1997. (One of you sent me a similar puzzle recently,
but I can't find it. Please resend!) Finally, the inspirational piece was
forwarded from Valerie Cheung.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Family Ties

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing;
forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the
sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each
other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in
Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like hell
they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my
brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, too, and turns to his wife. "Okay," he
says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving. Now what do we tell them for
Christmas?"
_______________________

Puzzle: Number Phrases

This test does not measure intelligence, your fluency with words,
creativity or mathematical ability. It will, however, give you some gauge
of your mental flexibility. In the three years since the test was
developed, few people have been found who could solve more than half of the
30 questions of the first try. Many, however, reported getting answers
long after the testing had been set aside, particularly at unexpected
moments when their minds were relaxed. Some reported solving all the
questions over a period of several days. Take the test as your personal
challenge. 20 correct answers out of the 30 = Genius.

Instructions: Each equation below contains the initials of words that will
make it correct. Furnish the missing words. For example: 60 = M in an H,
which is 60 Minutes in an Hour.

1. 26 = L of the A
2. 7 = W of the A W
3. 1001 = A N
4. 12 = S of the Z
5. 54 = C in a D (with the J)
6. 9 = P in the S S
7. 88 = P K
8. 13 = S on the A F
9. 18 = H on a G C
10. 32 = D F at which W F
11. 8 = S on a S S
12.200 = D for P G in M
13. 3 = B M (S H T R)
14. 90 = D in a R A
15. 4 = Q in a G
16. 24 = H in a D
17. 1 = W on a U
18. 5 = D in a Z C
19. 57 = H V
20. 11 = P on a F T
21.1000 = W that a P is W
22. 29 = D in F in a L Y
23. 64 = S on a C
24. 40 = D and N of G F
25. 80 = D to G A the W
26. 2 = # it T to T
27. 6 = P on the S of D
28. 50 = W to L Your L
29. 31 = F of B R
30. 40 = H in a W W

GOOD LUCK!
__________________________________________________

SIMPLE VS REAL

A simple friend has never seen you cry
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a
fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Pass this on to anyone you care about...
if you get it back you have found your true friends.

A ball is a circle, No beginning, No end.
It keeps us together, like our circle of friends, but the treasure inside
for you to see is the treasure of friendship you've granted to me.
______________________________

Answer to Last Week's Puzzle: Extra Pill

Phil Lin's Answer: Take another pill B. Now you have two A's and two B's.
Cut the pills in half. Take half of each of the four pills. Save the
other halves for the next dose.

Josh Li's Answer: Add another pill B. Dissolve all four pills in two
glasses of hot water. Drink one glass today, and the other tomorrow.

[Several of you sent me the correct answer to the previous "Marbles"
puzzle. Since this email is very long, I didn't include it. Let me know
if you want me to send you a copy.]