11/26/00: George Costanza, Praise for Elwood's Adoption

Hi,

I ate so much this past Thanksgiving weekend. In addition to a potluck on
Wednesday, some young adults from my church and I ate a more traditional
Thanksgiving dinner at Theresa Huang's place. Luckily, on Friday we went
hiking at Temescal Canyon, so hopefully I didn't gain too many pounds
permanently.

If you are here in LA, some friends and I are going to play Laser Tag on
Thursday night at Ultrazone in Sherman Oaks. The address is: 14622 Ventura
Blvd (between Van Nuys Blvd. & Kester). We are going to meet for some fast
food at 7 pm and then meet at Ultrazone at 8 pm. Please join us if you
like laser tag or want to try it for the first time. Let me know and I'll
send you more details later.

The responses to last week's thought provoking question include family,
friends, and their lives.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have been any
person from history, who would you want to have been?"

This week's humor was forwarded from Jennifer Chin. The inspirational
story was sent to me by Cynthia Fong (she's currently on short-term
missions at an orphanage in Hong Kong and the story is an excerpt from her
prayer letter. She gave me permission to use her story.)

Enjoy!

-Josh.
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Tips for 'working hard' from George Costanza . . . words to live by.

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees
heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look
like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their
hands look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you
carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false
impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.
You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and
generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.
These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the
computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either.
When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught your best
defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus
saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk.
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks
like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around
your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's
work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know
somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway
down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just
because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because
they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you
and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know
they're not there - If you diligently employ the method of screening
incoming calls and hen returning calls when nobody is there, this will
greatly increase the odds that the caller will give up or look for a
solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can
ever hear is: "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If your voice
mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you
reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any
incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages.
Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox
is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient
and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but
have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss'
room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (e.g.,
9:35pm,7:05am, etc...) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that
you are very hard pressed.

8. Stacking Strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books
on the floor etc... Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals
are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They
don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive
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Puzzle: None this week
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Praise for Elwood's Adoption

"I have a praise to share with all of you. Earlier this month, I found out
that my big son, Elwood, was being matched. Ever since I knew, I prayed
that his parents would be believers and that someone could sing "Jesus
loves me" to sleep every night as I do so. Several days later, I found out
that his adoptive mom is blind. I was really concerned and worried, but
then I realized that out of all the kids here, he would be the best to go
into this family. Elwood is such an easy going guy that he will not give
his new parents a difficult time (he rarely cries).

When his parents came to visit, I would always miss them because I would
either be working or I wouldn't be around. It wasn't until this past Sat
that I finally met his mom. I guess she had heard about me from the other
staff and we sat and talked for quite a bit. When she told me that she was
a believer, I wanted to cry. That night, we sang "Jesus loves me" to him
together.

I was touched when mom asked me if I could choose a biblical name for him
so I told her that I would pray about it. Yesterday when they came to pick
him up, mom asked me what name I choose for him and I told her Samuel
because his mom give him up to the Lord and the Lord watched him as he grew
up. I told her that my prayer is for us to give him up to the Lord and
allow the Lord to work in his life. Mom shared with me how Elwood's older
sister had thought of the name Samuel if I couldn't come up with one. Talk
about God ordained!

Saying good-bye was hard for me. My colleagues and floormates were all
around me because they have never seen me sad nor cry before (because they
say that I'm always smiling). I realized what it feels like to lose
someone dear as well as to give a child up for adoption. Mom was holding
my hand thanking me for giving him the care that I gave him and treating
him as if he was my own. I praise God though that I will always remain in
his life and to be able to watch him as he grows up."