Humor 2/8/98: World's Smartest Man

Hey,

I hope your weekend went well. I had a fairly packed weekend. I
watched Chow Yun-Fat's new movie, "Replacement Killers". I liked it and
recommend it. However, some other friends who have seen many of his
past movies didn't think that this one measured up to his previous
movies. I thought that the action and story line in this movie were
fairly good.

This week's humor email comes from Elaine Wong. The story at the end
comes from the Chicken Soup for the Soul email service. Enjoy!

-Josh.
_______________________________________________

One night, a twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New
Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill
Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen
generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger
cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot
burst into the compartment.

"Gentlemen," he began. "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is
that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are
four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw
open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am
the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think
the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With thesewords,
he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door
and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The
world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a
parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali
Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have
known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you;
you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't stress it, pop. The
world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."
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True Love

Moses Mendelssohn, the grandfather of the well-known German composer,
was far from being handsome. Along with a rather short stature, he had a
grotesque hunchback.

One day he visited a merchant in Hamburg who had a lovely daughter named
Frumtje. Moses fell hopelessly in love with her. But Frumtje was
repulsed by his misshapen appearance.

When it came time for him to leave, Moses gathered his courage and
climbed the stairs to her room to take one last opportunity to speak
with her. She was a vision of heavenly beauty, but caused him deep
sadness by her refusal to look at him. After several attempts at
conversation, Moses shyly asked, "Do you believe marriages are made in
heaven?"

"Yes," she answered, still looking at the floor. "And do you?"

"Yes I do," he replied. "You see, in heaven at the birth of each boy,
the Lord announces which girl he will marry. When I was
born, my future bride was pointed out to me. Then the Lord added, `But
your wife will be humpbacked."

"Right then and there I called out, `Oh Lord, a humpbacked woman would
be a tragedy. Please, Lord give me the hump and let her be beautiful."

Then Frumtje looked up into his eyes and was stirred by some deep
memory. She reached out and gave Mendelssohn her hand and later became
his devoted wife.

By Barry and Joyce Vissell
from Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen