Humor 11/3/99: Beatle Songs & Paul Harvey

Hi everyone,

I wanted to write this email on Sunday night, but I went to help out at
my church's carnival for kids called "International Fun Factory". It
was really fun and a wholesome alternative to Halloween. I got home at
11 pm and had to work on a group paper due the next day. I ended up
going to sleep at 4:30 am, and had to wake up at 8:30 am. Needless to
say, I was extremely tired on Monday.

Most of you know that I worked at WishClick this summer. One of the
projects that I worked on was to craft a viral marketing strategy. My
supervisor, Carol, emailed me and told me that they have now implemented
it. So, it goes something like this:

You can get a free $10 gift certificate from SuperCertificates.com if
you register at WishClick. Just click on this link below:

http://www.wishclick.com/register.jsp?tell_friend_id=6tuJr3NwDDg

WishClick is an all-occasion online gift registry. You can read more
about all the features that they offer on their website. Registration
is free.

Not only that, once you register, if you get 5 friends to register,
you'll get a $25 gift certificate, and if you get 10 people, you'll get
a $50 gift certificate. You can redeem these gift certificates at over
100 top national retailers.

In addition to adding a plug for WishClick this week, I'm going to add a
new feature to my weekly emails. I'm going to suggest a cool or
interesting website that I recommend you to visit. I've subscribed to
several daily emails where they send me a cool sites to visit. Also,
many of you have sent me cool sites. Finally, some of you are working
at Internet startups, and if you want me to, I'll recommend your site in
one of these weekly emails.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have the
answer to any question, what would you ask?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Kim Keow, followed by an
inspirational story by Paul Harvey forwarded by Anna Man. Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

"Yesterday"

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

"Let it Be"

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
speaking words of wisdom:
Write in C.
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

IMAGINE

Imagine there's no Windows,
It's easy if you try.
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives.
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
Imagine neverending hard disks,
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money.
You may say I'm a hacker,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM
Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can.
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again.
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!
You may say I'm a hacker,
But I'm not the only one.
Maybe someday I'll be a cracker
And then I'll make Windows run.
____________________________

By Paul Harvey

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them
worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like for them
to know about hand-me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover
meatloaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being
humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you
learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really
hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be
good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put
to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe
in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother. And it's
all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but
when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I
hope you let him. When you want to see a movie and your little brother
wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you
live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have
to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your 'driver' to drop you two
blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your
Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make
one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read
books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add
and subtract in your head.

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on
a girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what Ivory
soap tastes like. May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your
hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole. I don't
care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a
friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your
friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa and go
fishing with your Uncle. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy
during the holidays. I hope your Mother punishes you when you throw a
baseball through a neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses
you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work
and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss.
If you are my friend, please answer this:
Are we friends Or are we not?
You told me once But I forgot.
So tell me now And tell me true.
So I can say....... "I'm here for you."
Of all the friends I've ever met,
You're the one I won't forget.
And if I die Before you do,
I'll go to heaven
And wait for you.

Send this to all of your friends that mean the most to you
and whoever sent it to you to show you are a good friend!..
"We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them."
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818)461-8930
Instant Messenger ID: joshli
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/