Humor 2/21/00: Resume Quotes & Brother's Song

Hi everyone,

I'll be in Boston from 2/24 to 2/27 and will be staying with my former
roommate Richard Sahara. If you want to reach me, his phone number is:
617-923-8259. Hope to see you in Boston!

Have you all read the latest article about Asian American males in
Newsweek? If not, here's the link:

http://newsweek.com/nw-srv/printed/us/so/a16374-2000feb13.htm

Two of my classmates from B-school, Chris Jenkins and Alex Wang, took
this year off in order to start an Internet company focusing on car
service and repair. Well, their site, Motoreyes, is up and running and
it looks pretty good. It useful for a guy like me, who doesn't know
much about car service and repairs and tends to forget about car
maintenance. At their site, you can schedule automotive service and
repair appointments at quality facilities. This site has a diagnostic
and education section, as well as a way for you to send email to
automotive experts. You can register for free at
www.motoreyes.com/personal/register1.asp?refid=5000653.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could go back in
time, as yourself, to live for one year at any point in history, what
year would you choose, and where would you go?"

This week's humor was forwarded by John Chao, followed by a truly
inspirational story forwarded by someone on the IVGCF distribution list.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in
the 21 July 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms.
3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
4. Wholly responsible for two (two) failed financial institutions.
5. Reason for leave last job: maturity leave.
6. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
7. It's best for employers that I not work with people.
8. Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
9. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
10. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
11. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
12. Martial status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
commitments.
13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs.. Please feel free to
respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and
absolutely nothing.
16. My goal is to be meteorologist. But since I possess no training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
18. Personal interests: giving blood - fourteen gallons so far.
19. As indicated, I have over five years of analysing investments.
20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
21. Note: please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have
never quit a job.
22. Marital status: often. Children: various
23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to
work by 8:45am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous
employers.
25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.
26. References: none. I have left a path of destruction behind me.
____________________________

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the
way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare
for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going to be a
girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister
in Mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister
before he even met her. The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an
active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in
Morristown, TN.

In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every
three...every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery
and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be
required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was
born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in
the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive
care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to
tell the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the
worst." Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a
burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their
new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.
Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister.
"I want to sing to her," he kept saying. Week two in intensive care
looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael
kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in
Intensive Care. Karen made up her mind, though. She would take Michael
whether they liked it or not! If he didn't see his sister right then,
he may never see her alive.

She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He
looked like a walking laundry basket. But the head nurse recognized him
as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are
allowed." The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually
mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face,
her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"

Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny
infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In
the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: "You are my
sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray ---."
Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate began to calm
down and become steady. "Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen
with tears in her eyes. "You never know, dear, how much I love you,
Please don't take my sunshine away." As Michael sang to his sister, the
baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr.

"Keep on singing, Sweetheart!!!" "The other night, dear, as I lay
sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..." Michael's little sister
began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her. "Keep
on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy
head nurse. Karen glowed. "You are my sunshine, my only Sunshine.
Please don't, take my sunshine away..."

The next, day...the very next day... the little girl was well enough to
go home! Woman's Day Magazine called it "The Miracle of a Brother's
Song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a
miracle of God's love!

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE. LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
President, High Tech Business Association
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818) 461-8930
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/