Humor 1/10/00: Fun Pieces & Friends

Hi everyone,

It's good to be back in LA! I spent the last week in the San Francisco
bay area, visiting high tech companies, and meeting up with college and
BCEC friends for lunch and dinner. I had a great time! For those of
you from BCEC, I will put up all of the pictures with BCEC people on the
BCEC Alumni Club on Yahoo. If you can't access this, please email me
and I will send you a personal invitation to join.

Congratulations to my friends Alex and Peanie Wang. I went to their
beautiful wedding this afternoon. It was held outdoors by the Pacific
Ocean. There were several cool/unique things about their wedding. One
is that they each read a very personal vow, which the other had not
heard before today. Alex's vow contained portions of a Shakespearean
love sonnet. Other unique things are that they had 3 groomsmen but 2
bridesmaids, and instead of a bouquet toss, Peanie just dedicated the
bouquet to a woman that had a great influence on her, her mom.

Tomorrow classes start up again. I'm taking Intermediate Accounting,
Marketing Strategy, Strategy in the Digital Economy, and Field Study.
It should be a good quarter, but less busy than last.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could find one
thing, besides money, in your family attic, what would you want to
discover?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Vivian Chiang, followed by an
inspirational piece forwarded by Jennifer Chin.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National
Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen
to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules.

After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was
developed at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also
enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth.

The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
---------------------------------------------------------

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
-----------------------------------------------------------

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants.

* A. Whitney Brown
-----------------------------------------------------------
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.

-William James
-----------------------------------------------------------

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words,
there are 1,322 words in the
Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of
cabbage total 26,911words.

--From an article on the growth of federal regulations in the Oct. 24th
issue of National Review
--------------------------------------------------------
Half of the people in the world are below average.

----------------------------------------------------------
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the
streets?
* Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
----------------------------------------------------------
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there are men on base.

-Dave Barry
-----------------------------------------------------
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

---------------------------------------------------
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"

------------------------------------------------------

Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress
...But I repeat myself.

-Mark Twain
-----------------------------------------------------
Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea): For best results:
Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For
not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on
roofrack.

---------------------------------------------------
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be
when you kill them.

* William Clayton
-------------------------------------------------------
"Time's fun when you're having flies."

* Kermit the Frog
____________________________

Friends

In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you
have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the
bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary
halls.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you
stand up to the class bully.

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared
their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was
willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to
be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on
the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick
or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if
they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.

In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy
the social studies homework from the night before that you had
forgotten.

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you
pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you
when you finished and broke out into tears.

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to
a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only
freshman there.

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed
their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you
rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be
grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found
you a date to the prom.

In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped
you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into
that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were
having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...

At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying
on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they
congratulated you.

The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak
out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured
you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you
could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and
just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years
of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of
childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would
make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most
importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the
better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you
fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times
when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps
you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to
it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out
of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes,
helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are
sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the future...and
those you have met along the way...

[crying yet? oh there's more]

Thank you for being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become,
never forget who helped us get there.

There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling
your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them.

Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell
someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have
helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all
about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference
in your day and theirs.
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818)461-8930
Instant Messenger ID: joshli
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/