Humor 12/6/99: Dead Horse & A Christmas Story

Hi everyone,

This coming week is my last week of classes. I can't wait! This
quarter has been very busy, especially due to this one entrepreneurial
finance class. It's a very good class, but just a lot of work. I have
one final this coming Friday and some group papers due the following
week.

One of these movies that I recommend is "Black Mask" (1996), starring
Jet Li. The martial arts choreographer is the same guy that did the
"Matrix", and there are some other similarities in style between the two
movies.

I'll be in New York City from December 16th to January 3rd. Then I'll
be in the San Francisco bay area from January 3rd to January 8th. If
you're around during the times when I'll be there, I would love to catch
up with you.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could relive one
single day from your past exactly as it was the first time, what day
would you choose to experience all over again?"

This week's recommended website is: www.thehungersite.com. Several
friends have recommended this site.

This week's humor was forwarded by Reiko Muto, followed by an
inspirational Christmas story forwarded by Monica Quock.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
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Tribal Wisdom - dead horse

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation
to the next, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead
horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

However, in modern business, because of the heavy investment factors to
be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried
with dead horses, including the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living-impaired."
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
10. Providing additional funding to increase the dead horse's
performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve
the dead horse's performance.
12. Declaring that the dead horse carries lower overhead and therefore
performs better than some other horses.
13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position
____________________________

A CHRISTMAS STORY

It was only five days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn't
yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our
Houston area Target Shopping Center. Inside the store, it was worse.
Shopping carts and last minute shoppers jammed the aisles.

Why did I come today? I wondered. My feet ached almost as much as my
head. My list contained names of several people who claimed they wanted
nothing, but I knew their feelings would be hurt if I didn't buy them
anything. Buying for someone who had everything and deploring the high
cost of items, I considered gift-buying anything but fun.

Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with last minute items and
proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the shortest but it
looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait.

In front of me were two small children, a boy of about 10 and a younger
girl about 5. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered
tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He
clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The girl's
clothing resembled her brother's. Her head was a matted mass of curly
hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face.

She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers. As the
Christmas music sounded in the store's stereo system, the girl hummed
along off-key but happily.

When we finally approached the checkout register, the girl carefully
placed the shoes on the counter. She treated them as though they were a
treasure. The clerk rang up her bill. "That will be $6.09" the clerk
said, the boy laid his crumpled dollars atop the stand while he searched
his pockets finally coming up with $3.12.

"I guess we will have to put them back, " he bravely said. "We will
come back some other time, maybe tomorrow."

With that statement, a soft sob broke from the little girl. "But Jesus
would have loved these shoes," she cried.

"Well, we'll go home and work some more. Don't cry. We'll come back,"
he said.

Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in
line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas.

Suddenly a pair of arms came around me and a small voice said, "Thank
you Sir." "What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the
shoes?" I asked.

The small boy answered, "Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy
said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus."

The girl spoke, "My Sunday school teacher said the streets in heaven are
shiny gold, just like these shoes. Won't mommy be beautiful walking on
those streets to match these shoes?"

My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face. "Yes," I
answered, "I am sure she will."

Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the true
spirit of giving. Christmas is not about the amount of money paid, nor
the amount of gifts purchased, nor trying to impress friends and
relatives.

Christmas is about the love in your heart to share with those as Jesus
Christ has shared with each of us. Christmas is about the Birth of
Jesus whom God sent to show the world how much he really loves us.

Please show this love as we think of the upcoming season.
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818)461-8930
Instant Messenger ID: joshli
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/