Humor 11/7/99: Aiya! & Something to Think About

Hi everyone,

I was chatting with my roommate Patrick tonight. We're both going to be
here over Thanksgiving. In the past years, when I was in Boston, Pastor
Steve invited all the young adults over to his house for Thanksgiving.
I really miss that yearly tradition. So this year, my roommate Patrick
and I are planning to host a Thanksgiving potluck. He'll cook a turkey
and I'll make some Chinese dishes. If you're here in the LA area, I'll
send you an invitation by email once we finalize the details. I just
want to let you know way in advance so you can try to make it. We're
also thinking of having people over on the following day, Friday, just
to hang out and watch a movie on DVD.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you were to be
recognized by posterity for one thing, what would you like to be known
for?"

The website that I want to invite you to check out this week is:
www.expertcentral.com. My friend Eric Lew, from my church in Boston, is
the Director of Engineering at this startup.

This week's humor was forwarded by Tina Tse, followed by an
inspirational story forwarded by someone on the UCLA IVGCF email list.

I have to say that this week's humor is one of the funniest that I've
read in a long time, but unfortunately you will probably appreciate it
much more if you're Chinese, speak Cantonese and live in Southern
California (Ranch 99 is a huge Chinese supermarket chain).

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

I had a craving for a sweet taste of childhood the other day; so I went
shopping for a can of grass jelly. I was putting said treat into my cart
and looking for my Ranch 99 VIP card when a woman with three kids in tow
ran into my cart. At that moment, both of us said, "Aiya." The children
giggled, she apologized, and I quickly replied, "M'sai...No apology
needed."

Although it was a minor exchange, I later realized that Aiya is more
than just two characters; it is part of the spirit of being Chinese...in
a moment of surprise I could've said just about anything- my reaction
was to say Aiya. I was surprised that I would instinctively use my
mother's tongue because I've always known that I don't speak Cantonese
well. No matter how far removed I've become as an American, there is
something at my core that is Chinese.

I decided to conduct informal research about Aiya. First, I went to a
national bookstore chain to review its Chinese language materials. I
thumbed through all the Chinese language materials, but couldn't find
any vocabulary drill including Aiya. Seeing that the publishers of
tourist books were not going to be helpful, I decided to observe its use
in the community. I clipped my cell phone to my belt, grabbed a couple
of bakery pink boxes and sat around San Francisco's Portsmouth Square
drinking 7-Up and eating dim sum. Lo and behold, the heard Aiya used in
a variety of ways. Based on my personal experience and this observation,
I've developed a personal understanding of Aiya.

Aiya is 24-carat Chinese gold. Aiya is more than just two characters; it
is part of the spirit of being Chinese and may even go back to
antiquity. It is used wherever the Chinese have been in the diaspora of
the last sesquicentennial.

How you say Aiya can say volumes about your state of mind. For example,
when the problem is minor, I can say "Aiya" in a short/curt manner.
However when I am extremely stressed, I can draw it out to nearly five
seconds. (I'm planning an experiment where I get a room full of people
to meditate using it as a mantra. With practice, I might get them to
draw out Aiya even longer.)

To explain more deeply how to use Aiya, imagine a worker slaving on the
Great Wall when he accidentally drops a brick (a quickie Aiya)...on the
work foreman (Aiya!!)- which gets him thrown into the wall to perish an
agonizing death (AIYA!!!!)

As you read the following ways Aiya can be used, the mental image to
solicit is to picture any of the mothers from Amy Tan's The Joy Luck
Club. For those who have met anyone in my family, you can picture one of
my relatives instead:

Surprise: "Aiya! A surprise party for me?"

Joy: "Aiya! You got 5 out of 6 in Lotto!"

Distaste: "You expect me to drink that herbal medicine concoction of
yours? Aiya!"

Doubt: "Do I have to wear that lemon yellow/lime green sweater my mother
made? I wonder if she would notice if I 'accidentally' donated it to
Goodwill? Aiya."

Awe: "Your son got accepted into Harvard Law School!?! Aiya!"

Irritation: "Clean your room. Aiya! Why you live like a pig?"

Large astonishment: "Aiya! She switch majors from Business to Art
History!"

Disapproval: "Report Card-5 A, 1 B? Always a B in Math. Aiya." (Actual
quote from my mother when I was a sophomore in high school.)

Shock: "What? Ketchup on Yang Chow Fried Rice...Aiya!"

Lamentation: "Aiya...why me...ungrateful child... Aiya." (Probably what
my mother is thinking when she reads this.)

Outrage: "Never clean your rice cooker with that steel scouring pad!
Aiya!"

Verge of internal combustion: "I can't deal with the family asking when
and if I'm getting married! Ai-yaaa!"

Aiya is an all-purpose phrase that comes from deep in the soul. Aiya is
both simple and complex: on one hand it is a couple of Chinese
characters, on the other hand it can be a whole speech describing the
state you are in. Aiya says "I'm afraid", "I'm in pain", "I don't
believe it." It is an exclamation of exuberance, a shout of hurt, a cry
of fear, and the reflex of being startled, and the embrace of joy.

It is unfortunate that English has no equivalent to Aiya. It saddens me
that American English doesn't afford me a fun phrase to emote.
"Shucks", "Darn" and the plethora of swear words cannot convey what Aiya
can. So, I'm going to propose that we start an initiative for American
English should grab on Aiya or the Yiddish "Oy" for our use.

So the next time you go to a teahouse for dim sum or decide to go
shopping at an Asian market, listen to the lively banter as friends and
families meet. It's a wonderfully vibrant, alive community out there.
Who knows, you just might get caught up the lyrical rhythm of the
people. Aiya, what fun!
____________________________

Something to Think About

Around the corner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end,
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone

And I never see my old friend's face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,
He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell,
And he rang mine..

If, we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men..
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name..

"Tomorrow" I say "I will call on Jim"
"Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows..

Around the corner!- yet miles away,
"Here's a telegram sir-"
"Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end..

Around the corner, a vanished friend..

If you love someone, tell them..
Remember always to say what you mean..
Never be afraid to express yourself..
Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you..

Seize the day and have no regrets..
Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have
helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all
about anyway..

Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day
and theirs. The difference between expressing love and having regrets is
that the regrets may stay around forever..
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818)461-8930
Instant Messenger ID: joshli
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/