Humor 1/17/00: Pearls of Wisdom & True Forgiveness

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a great week. This past week was the first week of
classes. I decided to take a fifth class, given by the Film School,
called, "Distribution and Exhibition of Motion Pictures". The lecturer,
Tom Sherak, is responsible for film distribution at 20th Century Fox.
He distributes films such as the Star Wars movies. He's an interesting
and funny speaker. This weekend I was pretty much a bookworm. I
studied just about the whole weekend and did some research on my
business idea.

This coming Saturday some friends from church and I are going to watch
"Mansfield Park" (movie based on Jane Austen novel) in Pasadena and then
have dinner in Old Pasadena. It should be a lot of fun. You're welcome
to join us if you're in Southern Cal.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have the
autograph of one person from history, who would it be?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Reiko Muto, followed by an
inspirational story from Chicken Soup for the Soul.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
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Pearls of Wisdom from Kids

A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story
of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She
said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of
straw and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to
build my house with?"

Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
My friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!, he said.....
'Holy smokes! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the
next 10 minutes.

*****************
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy
father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches
us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one
little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

******************
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown
had kissed her after class. "How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me
catch him."

******************
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes
at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied,
"Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or
unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while, and then
said, "So, Mamma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

*****************
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,
'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a
doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher; she's dead."

*******************
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the
face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my
feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."
____________________________

True Forgiveness

Forty-three years seems like a long time to remember the name of a mere
acquaintance. I have duly forgotten the name of an old lady who was a
customer on my paper route when I was a twelve-year-old boy in
Marinette, Wisconsin back in 1954. Yet it seems like just yesterday
that she taught me a lesson in forgiveness that I can only hope to pass
on to someone else someday.

On a mindless Saturday afternoon, a friend and I were throwing rocks
onto the roof of the old lady's house from a secluded spot in her
backyard. The object of our play was to observe how the rocks changed
to missiles as they rolled to the roof's edge and shot out into the yard
like comets falling from the sky.

I found myself a perfectly smooth rock and sent it for a ride. The
stone was too smooth, however, so it slipped from my hand as I let it go
and headed straight for a small window on the old lady's back porch. At
the sound of fractured glass, we took off from the old lady's yard
faster than any of our missiles flew off her roof.

I was too scared about getting caught that first night to be concerned
about the old lady with the broken porch window. However, a few days
later, when I was sure that I hadn't been discovered, I started to feel
guilty for her misfortune. She still greeted me with a smile each day
when I gave her the paper, but I was no longer able to act comfortable
in her presence.

I made up my mind that I would save my paper delivery money, and in
three weeks I had the seven dollars that I calculated would cover the
cost of her window. I put the money in an envelope with a note
explaining that I was sorry for breaking her window and hoped that the
seven dollars would cover the cost for repairing it.

I waited until it was dark, snuck up to the old lady's house, and put
the envelope of retribution through the letter slot in her door. My
soul felt redeemed and I couldn't wait for the freedom of, once again,
looking straight into the old lady's eyes.

The next day, I handed the old lady her paper and was able to return the
warm smile that I was receiving from her. She thanked me for the paper
and said, "Here, I have something for you." It was a bag of cookies. I
thanked her and proceeded to eat the cookies as I continued my route.

After several cookies, I felt an envelope and pulled it out of the bag.
When I opened the envelope, I was stunned. Inside was the seven dollars
and a short note that said, "I'm proud of you."

By Jerry Harpt
from A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen
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Joshua Li
14400 Addison Ave. #119
Sherman Oaks CA 91423
(818)461-8930
Instant Messenger ID: joshli
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/