Humor 4/10/00: Online Too Long & Hut Burning

Hi everyone,

This past week I drove quite a bit. I went down to San Diego for a
conference. Afterwards, I drove/walked around La Jolla. I went to the
Museum of Contemporary Art and the Sunny Jim Cave. The cave, which
opens out to the sea, was dug by two Chinese laborers a long time ago.
I took some good pictures with my digital camera, and I'll post them
sometime in the future.

This weekend, I hung out with Steve Lee and his small group in Orange
County (watched Fantasia 2000) and we also went to Palm Springs. It was
hot at sea level, but we took the tram up to the mountain (8400 feet)
and hiked up to 9200 feet. We trekked through miles of snow and I
climbed some rocks. The scenery will awesome. I'll post my pictures by
next week.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could adopt one
personality trait from someone you know, what would you take, and from
whom?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Anna Man, followed by an
inspirational piece forwarded someone from the IVGCF distribution list.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

You know you've been on-line too long when...
* You start introducing yourself as Jim at aol.com.
* Your wife drapes a wig over the monitor to remind you of what she
looks like.
* You check your mail. It says "no new messages" so you check it again.
* You name your children Eudora, Mozzilla, and Dotcom.
* All of your friends have an @ in their names.
* You tell the cab driver you live at:
http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
* You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy/Mommy's
got work to do".
* You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Internet
Explorer 5.0."
* You ask the plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in
front of the computer with a toilet.
* You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile. :-)
* As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your
first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
__________________________________________

IS YOUR HUT BURNING?

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited
island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he
scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood
to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his
little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had
happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger.

"God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that
was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we
shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the
midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is
burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the
grace of God.

For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, God has a
positive answer for it:

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 13:34)

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalms 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I FORGIVE YOU (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (1 Peter 5:7)

You say: "I don't have enough faith"
God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)