March 24, 2002: Words Women Use, Believe in Easter

Hi,

As I compose this email, I'm watching the Oscars. It will be interesting
to see who wins.

I had a great time last weekend in LA. It was good to see a lot of friends
at Steve & Winnie's wedding. Next week, I'll write and tell you about some
of the games that we played at the wedding banquet. As usual, I took lots
of pictures with my digital camera. Here are some of the online photo
albums:

Steve & Winnie 1
http://cards.webshots.com/cp-20616191-Nksk-album/33823307DyPbqI

Steve & Winnie 2
http://cards.webshots.com/cp-20616191-Nksk-album/33827972EWBcOd

Steve & Winnie Banquet
http://cards.webshots.com/cp-20616191-Nksk-album/33886688xBdxzX

Steve & Winnie Bridal Party
http://cards.webshots.com/cp-20616191-Nksk-album/33831271epAXyU

Steve & Winnie BCEC Friends
http://cards.webshots.com/cp-20616191-Nksk-album/33835705YKlJzy

Steve & Winnie CCAC Friends
http://cards.webshots.com/cp-20616191-Nksk-album/33883024oVWzVd

This coming Friday is Good Friday and coming Sunday is Easter. If you
don't know who Jesus Christ is, or do not yet have a personal relationship
with Him, I strongly encourage you to visit a church this coming Sunday.
Many churches I know have a special service this Sunday geared towards
people who want to learn more about Jesus, why he came to Earth as a human
and died for our sins on the cross. If you ever wanted to visit a church
service, this Sunday is a great week to visit.

This week's thought provoking question: "If you could have prevented one
event in history, what event would you eliminate?"

This week's humor piece was forwarded from Anna Man. The inspiration piece
is about Easter, which was originally forwarded by Brent Chinn.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are
right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman
looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel
that it's an even trade.

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will
get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when
she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at
that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few
things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is
to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you
retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often
used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go
Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned,
you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance
to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is
that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her
in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful
not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing."
_________________________________

Do You Believe In Easter?

Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas. She
was the patient of doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a
gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith
Burns. One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was
because of Edith Burns.

When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black
Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.
Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my
name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the
meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved.

Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse,
Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood
pressure. Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe
in Easter?"

Beverly said, "Why yes I do." Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about
Easter?" Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church,
and dressing up." Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter,
and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I
believe there is another delivery taking place in the waiting room. After
being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down and when she took
a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you
reading your Bible? Are you praying?"

Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient."
With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have
cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."

Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you
think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my
precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends. You have just told me that
I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty
giving me my ticket!"

Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns
is!"

Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was
closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not
show up. Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr. Phillips and said she would
have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near
home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my
room who need to know about Easter."

Well, they did just that and women began to come in and share that room
with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to
patients were so excited about Edith, that they started calling her Edith
Easter; that is everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse. Phyllis
made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a
"religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it
all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married
three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.

One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick. Edith had
the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot. When she walked
in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and
I love you, and I have been praying for you." Phyllis Cross said, "Well,
you can quit praying for me, it won't work. I'm not interested." Edith
said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to let me go home until
you come into the family." Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die
because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.

Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God
loves you Phyllis and I love you, and I'm praying for you." One day Phyllis
Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw
iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come,
because God told me that today is your special day."

Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, "Do
you believe in Easter?' but you have never asked me."

Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until
you asked, and now that you have asked..." Edith Burns took her Bible and
shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial and
resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus
Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"

Phyllis Cross said, " Oh, I want to believe that with all of my heart, and
I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited
Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk
out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.

Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day
it is?" Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, it's Good Friday."

Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter Phyllis!"

Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of
her duties and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies
because she wanted to go up to see Edith and give her some Easter lilies
and wish her a Happy Easter. When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was
in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in that Bible.
There was a sweet smile on her face.

When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was
dead. Her left hand was on John 14: "In my Father's house are many
mansions. I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive
you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also."

Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4, " And God will wipe away every tear
from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; and
there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face
toward heaven, and with tears streaming down her cheeks, said, "Happy
Easter, Edith - Happy Easter!"

Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room, and over to a
table where two student nurses were sitting. She said, "My name is Phyllis
Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"