Humor 1/11/99: Great Thinkers

Hey,

I had a great time this past week in the San Francisco bay area. I
visited some cool hi-tech companies and had a chance to catch up with
many of you. Perhaps I will end up getting a summer job in the Bay
area. Then I can go swing dancing with those of you there. Tomorrow
classes start up again. Alas! Vacation is over. I wished we had more
time off.

One of you told me that you missed the "Thought Provoking Question"
feature of this weekly email. So I'll try to revive it. Here it is:
"If you could meet any person, real or fictional, who would it be?" If
you send me a response, I'll do my best to tally the responses for next
week's email. Also, please send me suggestions for future thought
provoking questions.

This week's humor email comes from John Chao, followed by a Chicken Soup
story.

Enjoy and have a great week!

-Josh.

P.S. Please continue to send all emails to me at
joshli@post.harvard.edu. Thanks!
___________________________

Great Thinkers of Our Time!?

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but
not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered
other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
-- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the
law."
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he
failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a
federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country."
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
-- Former French President Charles De Gaulle

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
I'm just the one to do it."
- A congressional candidate in Texas

"The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment.
This is a good planet."
-- Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million
dollars.

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them.
There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians
were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
-- John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it."
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public
mind."
-- General William Westmoreland

"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut
right out from under your feet."
-- Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
______________________________

Steeped with Meaning

My mom and I sat in the small college cafe with out large
mugs of something that smelled like lemon and tasted like home.
We were catching up on the past four months of our lives and the
hours just weren't long enough. Sure, we had talked on the phone
and occasionally written. But the calls were long distance, and
it was rare to find a moment when my roommate wasn't waiting for
the phone or my younger brother or sister weren't waiting for my
mom. So while we knew of each other's experiences, we had not
yet dissected them. As we discussed her new job, and my latest
paper, my new love, and her latest interview, I leaned back into
my cushion and thought: I always knew when she became my mother,
but when had she become my friend?
As far back as I can remember my mom was always the first
that I came to with every tear and every laugh. When I lost a
tooth and when I found a friend, when I fell from my bike, and
when I got back on it, she was there. She never judged me; she
let me set my own expectations. She was proud when I succeeded
and supportive when I didn't. She always listened; she seemed to
know when I was asking for advice and when I just needed a good
cry. She multiplied my excitement with her own and divided my
frustrations with her empathy and understanding. When she picked
me up from school, she always asked about my day. And I remember
one day asking about hers. I think I was a little surprised that
she had so much to say. We rarely had late night talks (because
she was already asleep), nor early morning ones (because I was
not yet up), but in between the busy hours of our filled days, we
found the time to fill each other's ears with stories and hearts
with love. She slowly shared more and more of her own life with
me, and that made me feel more open with her. We shared
experiences and hopes, frustrations and fears. Learning that she
still had blocks to build and to tumble made me more comfortable
with my own. She made me feel that my opinions were never
immature and my thoughts never silly. What surprises me now is
not that she always remembered to tell me "sweet dreams", but
that she never forgot to tell me that she believed in me. When
she started going through some changes in her life, I had the
opportunity to tell her that I believed in her too.
My mother had always been a friend. She had given me her
heart in its entirety; but her soul, she divulged in pieces, when
she knew that I was ready.
I sat across from the woman who had given me my life and
then shared hers with me. Our mugs were empty, but our hearts
were full. We both knew, that tomorrow she'd return to the
bustle of Los Angeles and I'd remain in the hustle of New Haven.
I know that we are both growing and learning. Yet, we continue
to learn about each other and grow closer. Our relationship was
like the tea we had sipped, mixed with honey and lemon, the
longer it steeped, the better it tasted.

from A Second Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul
Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Kimberly
Kirberger
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
431 S. Burnside Ave. #12 B
Los Angeles CA 90036
(323)936-8476
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/