Humor 4/17/00: From California & Believe in Easter?

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a great weekend. I spent a lot of time with the
prospective students to The Anderson School, helping to convince them to
attend.

This coming Sunday is Easter. Easter and Christmas are the two of the
most important events for Christians. If you don't know who Jesus
Christ is, or do not yet have a personal relationship with Him, I
strongly encourage you to visit a church this coming Sunday. Many
churches I know have a special service this coming Sunday geared to
people who want to learn more about Jesus, why he came to Earth as a
human and died for our sins on the cross. If you ever wanted to visit a
church service, this coming Sunday is the best week to visit. Let me
know if you're interested in visiting a church in your city, and I'll
try to connect you to a good church to visit.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have one
person from history live his or her full life over again, starting now,
who would you pick?"

This week's humor was forwarded by Catherine Cobb, followed by an
inspirational piece on Easter forwarded by Brent Chinn.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________________

YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM CALIFORNIA IF....

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none is visible.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation
in English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are
grown and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
7. You also know which Brentwood restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

8. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
9. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
10. Gas costs 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. A woman gets on the bus with live poultry. You don't even notice.
12. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 a.m. at Starbucks wearing the
baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George
Clooney.
13. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. (sometimes
more)
14. The gym is packed at 3 p.m. ....on a work day.
15. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about
"STORM WATCH 99".
16. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks
himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
17. Your paperboy has a two-picture deal.
18. The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a
horrific nine-car freeway pileup, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck
at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder.
19. The weatherman talks about the weather in other parts of the
country, as if we really care.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all
busy with their cell phones or pagers.
21. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour or two early
to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. You AND your dog have therapists.
__________________________________________

Do You Believe In Easter?

Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas.
She was the patient of doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips
was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was
Edith Burns. One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it
was because of Edith Burns.

When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big
black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting
beside her. Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way:
"Hello, my name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she
would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be
saved.

Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse,
Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood
pressure. Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you
believe in Easter?"

Beverly said, "Why yes I do." Edith said, "Well, what do you believe
about Easter?" Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to
church, and dressing up." Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning
of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet.
I believe there is another delivery taking place in the waiting room.
After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down and when
she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad?
Are you reading your Bible? Are you praying?"

Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the
patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it
says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."

Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you
think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my
precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends. You have just told me
that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having
difficulty giving me my ticket!"

Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith
Burns is!"

Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office
was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did
not show up. Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr. Phillips and said
she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will,
I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here
next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."

Well, they did just that and women began to come in and share that room
with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to
patients were so excited about Edith, that they started calling her
Edith Easter; that is everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse.
Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because
she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She
had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She
had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by
the book.

One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick. Edith
had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot. When she
walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God
loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you." Phyllis
Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me, it won't work. I'm not
interested." Edith said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to
let me go home until you come into the family." Phyllis Cross said,
"Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly
walked out of the room.

Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say,
"God loves you Phyllis and I love you, and I'm praying for you." One day
Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet
would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad
you have come, because God told me that today is your special day."

Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question,
"Do you believe in Easter?' but you have never asked me."

Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait
until you asked, and now that you have asked..." Edith Burns took her
Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death,
burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that
Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"

Phyllis Cross said, " Oh, I want to believe that with all of my heart,
and I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and
invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross
did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of
angels.

Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what
day it is?" Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, it's Good Friday."

Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter Phyllis!"

Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some
of her duties and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter
lilies because she wanted to go up to see Edith and give her some Easter
lilies and wish her a Happy Easter. When she walked into Edith's room,
Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in
that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face.

When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was
dead. Her left hand was on John 14: "In my Father's house are many
mansions. I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive
you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also."

Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4, " And God will wipe away every
tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor
crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have
passed away."

Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face
toward heaven, and with tears streaming down her cheeks, said, "Happy
Easter, Edith - Happy Easter!"

Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room, and over to a
table where two student nurses were sitting. She said, "My name is
Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"