Humor 1/25/99: Kid's Instruction on Life

Hi everyone,

I hope things are going well. This week will be really busy for me.
Almost all my classes have real demanding homework assignments due, and
I have a Finance exam on Friday.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If a genie gave you the
option of going back to the past, five minutes before you made the worst
mistake you have ever made in your life, would you do it? You would
relive your life from that point onwards. Why or why not?"

This week's humor email comes from John Chao, followed by inspirational
lessons from kids, forwarded by Dave Shim. Enjoy!

-Josh.

P.S. Continue to send any emails to me at: joshli@post.harvard.edu.
Also, join Planet all at: www.planetall.com. It's free!
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KIDS' INSTRUCTIONS ON LIFE

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
-Patrick, Age 10

Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching.
-Andrew, Age 9

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls.
-Rocky, Age 9

Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning.
-Stephanie, Age 8

Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
-Rosemary, Age 7

Don't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower.
-Lamar, Age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.

-Heather, Age 16

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
-Michael, Age 14

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
-Joel, Age 12

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on
the phone.
-Alyesha, Age 13

Never try to baptize a cat.
-Laura, Age 13

Never spit when on a roller coaster.
-Scott, Age 11

Never do pranks at a police station.
-Sam, Age 10

Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving.
-Rob, Age 10

Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom
told you to do.
-Hank, Age 12

Stay away from prunes.
-Randy, Age 9

Never dare your little brother to paint the family car.
-Phillip, Age 13
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"The Most Caring Child"

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was
asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring
child.

The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man
cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his
lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to
the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

"Two Nickels and Five Pennies"

When an ice cream sundae cost much less, a boy entered a coffee shop and
sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How
much is an ice cream sundae?" "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The
little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of
coins in it.

"How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired. Some people were
now waiting for a table, and the waitress was impatient. "Thirty-five
cents," she said angrily. The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll
have the plain ice cream." The waitress brought the ice cream and
walked away. The boy finished, paid the cashier, and departed. When
the waitress came back, she swallowed hard at what she saw. There,
placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies,
her tip.
--
_____________________________________

Joshua Li
431 S. Burnside Ave. #12 B
Los Angeles CA 90036
(323)936-8476
Permanent Email: joshli@post.harvard.edu
http://personal.anderson.ucla.edu/joshua.li/