July 7, 2002: Aiya!

Hi,

I hope you had a very good July 4th weekend. I just got back early this
morning from Singapore. It took me about a day and a half to fly to
Singapore each way. I had to stop at all these cities (round-trip) to wait
for connecting flights: Denver, San Francisco, Seoul, Hong Kong, and
Chicago.

Overall, I had a very good trip to Singapore, even though it was too short.
Melissa and I spent a lot of time visiting her family and many relatives.
Another highlight of our trip was a "vacation within a vacation" to Bintan.
We went to this spa called "Asmara", where we got massages in an seaside
outdoor pavilion called "bale" in Indonesian. Surprisingly, even though it
was a hot sunny day, inside the pavilion, it was quite cool and breezy.

Another interesting place we went was a restaurant called "Shimizu". My
friends Chris and Annie took us to lunch at this Japanese restaurant. They
are known for have a hot-pot in a "paper" pot. The paper is made of some
sort of flame resistant material. It goes directly over the fire from
heated rocks, and cooks the food very quickly.

I'll post some pictures from the trip next week.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could memorize one book
from history in its entirety, which book would you want it to be?"

This week's humor piece is one of my favorites. I first sent it out in
1999 and several people commented that it was very funny. It was
originally forwarded from Tina Sze. (Ranch 99 is a huge Chinese
supermarket chain in California).

Enjoy!

-Josh.
_________________________________

Aiya!

I had a craving for a sweet taste of childhood the other day; so I went
shopping for a can of grass jelly. I was putting said treat into my cart
and looking for my Ranch 99 VIP card when a woman with three kids in tow
ran into my cart. At that moment, both of us said, "Aiya." The children
giggled, she apologized, and I quickly replied, "M'sai...No apology
needed."

Although it was a minor exchange, I later realized that Aiya is more
than just two characters; it is part of the spirit of being Chinese...in
a moment of surprise I could've said just about anything- my reaction
was to say Aiya. I was surprised that I would instinctively use my
mother's tongue because I've always known that I don't speak Cantonese
well. No matter how far removed I've become as an American, there is
something at my core that is Chinese.

I decided to conduct informal research about Aiya. First, I went to a
national bookstore chain to review its Chinese language materials. I
thumbed through all the Chinese language materials, but couldn't find
any vocabulary drill including Aiya. Seeing that the publishers of
tourist books were not going to be helpful, I decided to observe its use
in the community. I clipped my cell phone to my belt, grabbed a couple
of bakery pink boxes and sat around San Francisco's Portsmouth Square
drinking 7-Up and eating dim sum. Lo and behold, the heard Aiya used in
a variety of ways. Based on my personal experience and this observation,
I've developed a personal understanding of Aiya.

Aiya is 24-carat Chinese gold. Aiya is more than just two characters; it
is part of the spirit of being Chinese and may even go back to
antiquity. It is used wherever the Chinese have been in the diaspora of
the last sesquicentennial.

How you say Aiya can say volumes about your state of mind. For example,
when the problem is minor, I can say "Aiya" in a short/curt manner.
However when I am extremely stressed, I can draw it out to nearly five
seconds. (I'm planning an experiment where I get a room full of people
to meditate using it as a mantra. With practice, I might get them to
draw out Aiya even longer.)

To explain more deeply how to use Aiya, imagine a worker slaving on the
Great Wall when he accidentally drops a brick (a quickie Aiya)...on the
work foreman (Aiya!!)- which gets him thrown into the wall to perish an
agonizing death (AIYA!!!!)

As you read the following ways Aiya can be used, the mental image to
solicit is to picture any of the mothers from Amy Tan's The Joy Luck
Club. For those who have met anyone in my family, you can picture one of
my relatives instead:

Surprise: "Aiya! A surprise party for me?"

Joy: "Aiya! You got 5 out of 6 in Lotto!"

Distaste: "You expect me to drink that herbal medicine concoction of
yours? Aiya!"

Doubt: "Do I have to wear that lemon yellow/lime green sweater my mother
made? I wonder if she would notice if I 'accidentally' donated it to
Goodwill? Aiya."

Awe: "Your son got accepted into Harvard Law School!?! Aiya!"

Irritation: "Clean your room. Aiya! Why you live like a pig?"

Large astonishment: "Aiya! She switch majors from Business to Art
History!"

Disapproval: "Report Card-5 A, 1 B? Always a B in Math. Aiya." (Actual
quote from my mother when I was a sophomore in high school.)

Shock: "What? Ketchup on Yang Chow Fried Rice...Aiya!"

Lamentation: "Aiya...why me...ungrateful child... Aiya." (Probably what
my mother is thinking when she reads this.)

Outrage: "Never clean your rice cooker with that steel scouring pad!
Aiya!"

Verge of internal combustion: "I can't deal with the family asking when
and if I'm getting married! Ai-yaaa!"

Aiya is an all-purpose phrase that comes from deep in the soul. Aiya is
both simple and complex: on one hand it is a couple of Chinese
characters, on the other hand it can be a whole speech describing the
state you are in. Aiya says "I'm afraid", "I'm in pain", "I don't
believe it." It is an exclamation of exuberance, a shout of hurt, a cry
of fear, and the reflex of being startled, and the embrace of joy.

It is unfortunate that English has no equivalent to Aiya. It saddens me
that American English doesn't afford me a fun phrase to emote.
"Shucks", "Darn" and the plethora of swear words cannot convey what Aiya
can. So, I'm going to propose that we start an initiative for American
English should grab on Aiya or the Yiddish "Oy" for our use.

So the next time you go to a teahouse for dim sum or decide to go
shopping at an Asian market, listen to the lively banter as friends and
families meet. It's a wonderfully vibrant, alive community out there.
Who knows, you just might get caught up the lyrical rhythm of the
people. Aiya, what fun!