Humor 8/4/97: More Lawyer Bashing

Hi everyone,

I hope you had a great weekend. This week's humor email comes from
Vivian Chiang, who is a lawyer herself, working in Taiwan.

My recommendation of the week is the movie, "Air Force One". One of the
summer's best movies. Please continue to send me your recommendations
on movies, books, places to visit, anything else you find worthwhile.

Take care and have a great week!

-Josh.
___________________________________________________________

A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the
country,
to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the
lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's not the punch
line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a

backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a
Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a
freebee
off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country -
rising early and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning, the
lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for
their
morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering
blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two
huge
Bears - a male and a female. Well, the lawyer, seeing the two bears,
immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and
the
male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to
his
Mercedes, tore into town as fast has he could, and got the local
backwoods
sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry
patch
with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in
THAT
one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits
from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his
friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye,
leveled his gun, took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE. "Whatdya do that

for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly,"
replied the sheriff, "and would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that
the
Czech was in the Male?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a Lawyer are in a train.

The Russian takes a bootle of the Best Vodka out of his pack; pours some

into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In USSR, we have the best vodka of
the
world, nowhere in the world you can find Vodka as good as the one we
produce in Ukrainia. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw
it
away..." Saying that, he open the window and throw the rest of the
bottle
thru it. All the others are quite impressed.

The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, takes one of them, lights it and
begins
to smoke it saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world:
Havanas, nowhere in the world there is so many and so good cigare and we

have so much of them, that we can just throw them away...". Saying that,
he
throws the pack of havanas thru the window. One more time, everybody is
quite impressed.

At this time, the American just stands up, opens the window, and throws
the
Lawyer through it..