11/26/00: George Costanza, Praise for Elwood's Adoption

Hi,

I ate so much this past Thanksgiving weekend. In addition to a potluck on
Wednesday, some young adults from my church and I ate a more traditional
Thanksgiving dinner at Theresa Huang's place. Luckily, on Friday we went
hiking at Temescal Canyon, so hopefully I didn't gain too many pounds
permanently.

If you are here in LA, some friends and I are going to play Laser Tag on
Thursday night at Ultrazone in Sherman Oaks. The address is: 14622 Ventura
Blvd (between Van Nuys Blvd. & Kester). We are going to meet for some fast
food at 7 pm and then meet at Ultrazone at 8 pm. Please join us if you
like laser tag or want to try it for the first time. Let me know and I'll
send you more details later.

The responses to last week's thought provoking question include family,
friends, and their lives.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could have been any
person from history, who would you want to have been?"

This week's humor was forwarded from Jennifer Chin. The inspirational
story was sent to me by Cynthia Fong (she's currently on short-term
missions at an orphanage in Hong Kong and the story is an excerpt from her
prayer letter. She gave me permission to use her story.)

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Tips for 'working hard' from George Costanza . . . words to live by.

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees
heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look
like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their
hands look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you
carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false
impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.
You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and
generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work.
These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the
computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either.
When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught your best
defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus
saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk.
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks
like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around
your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's
work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know
somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway
down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just
because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because
they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you
and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know
they're not there - If you diligently employ the method of screening
incoming calls and hen returning calls when nobody is there, this will
greatly increase the odds that the caller will give up or look for a
solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can
ever hear is: "Ignore my last message. I took care of it". If your voice
mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you
reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any
incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages.
Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox
is full" - a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed.
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient
and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but
have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss'
room on your way out. Send important e-mails at unearthly hours (e.g.,
9:35pm,7:05am, etc...) and during public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that
you are very hard pressed.

8. Stacking Strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books
on the floor etc... Can always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals
are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products. Use it freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They
don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive
_________________________________

Puzzle: None this week
________________________________________________

Praise for Elwood's Adoption

"I have a praise to share with all of you. Earlier this month, I found out
that my big son, Elwood, was being matched. Ever since I knew, I prayed
that his parents would be believers and that someone could sing "Jesus
loves me" to sleep every night as I do so. Several days later, I found out
that his adoptive mom is blind. I was really concerned and worried, but
then I realized that out of all the kids here, he would be the best to go
into this family. Elwood is such an easy going guy that he will not give
his new parents a difficult time (he rarely cries).

When his parents came to visit, I would always miss them because I would
either be working or I wouldn't be around. It wasn't until this past Sat
that I finally met his mom. I guess she had heard about me from the other
staff and we sat and talked for quite a bit. When she told me that she was
a believer, I wanted to cry. That night, we sang "Jesus loves me" to him
together.

I was touched when mom asked me if I could choose a biblical name for him
so I told her that I would pray about it. Yesterday when they came to pick
him up, mom asked me what name I choose for him and I told her Samuel
because his mom give him up to the Lord and the Lord watched him as he grew
up. I told her that my prayer is for us to give him up to the Lord and
allow the Lord to work in his life. Mom shared with me how Elwood's older
sister had thought of the name Samuel if I couldn't come up with one. Talk
about God ordained!

Saying good-bye was hard for me. My colleagues and floormates were all
around me because they have never seen me sad nor cry before (because they
say that I'm always smiling). I realized what it feels like to lose
someone dear as well as to give a child up for adoption. Mom was holding
my hand thanking me for giving him the care that I gave him and treating
him as if he was my own. I praise God though that I will always remain in
his life and to be able to watch him as he grows up."

11/19/00: The Bat, Thanksgiving

Hi,

How many times have you heard the phrase, "It's a small world"? Well, I
met Everett Gong, my mentee from the Anderson School, who turns out to be
from Sudbury, MA, and a high school classmate of Theresa Huang, who goes to
my church. I joined Everett and the other students in AMSA for some
miniature golf and Chinese food in Sherman Oaks, a few minutes from where I
live. It was quite fun, but cold.

If you are here in LA, my friends and I are going hiking this Friday to
work off some of the calories that we will likely gain on Thanksgiving.
Please join us if you like to hike or just to hang out with us. Let me
know and I'll send you more details when I get them.

I love Chinese martial arts movies. A movie coming out called "Crouching
Tiger, Hidden Dragon", with Chow Yun-fat and Michelle Yeoh and Matrix-like
special effects will be released here in LA on Friday, 12/8. I'm getting a
group of people together to watch this on opening night. Let me know if
you want to join us. You can watch some of the cool trailers at:
(Quicktime required)

http://www.crouchingtiger.com.

Finally, for those of you who like to plan way, way ahead, I'm helping to
organize our young adult ski trip, and it will be on March 16 - 18, 2001.
We will probably go to June Mtn, or Mammoth Mtn. Hope you can join us.

The sole response to last week's thought provoking question is "A manmade
object I would use to describe myself is: blender. I tend to do everything
at once and not go anywhere."

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you had to pick one thing
that you are most thankful for, what would it be?"

This week's humor was forwarded from Reiko Muto. The inspirational quote
by Abraham Lincoln was forwarded from Pablo Manguy.

Enjoy the email, and have a great Thanksgiving! Take the time to thank God
for the blessings in your life. I hope you will have a safe trip if you're
traveling.

-Josh.
______________________________________________

THE BAT

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood, and
parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon
all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where
he got it. He told them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep.

However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow me," he
said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!" all the
other bats screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," shouted the bat, "because I didn't!"
_________________________________

Puzzle: None this week
________________________________________________

On Thanksgiving

"We have been recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven, we have been
preserved these many years in peace and prosperity, we have grown in
numbers, wealth and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have
forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in
peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly
imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were
produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with
unbroken success, we have become too sufficient to feel the necessity of
redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God who made us.
It has seemed to me fit and proper that God should be solemnly, reverently,
and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole
American people. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of
the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are
sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of
November as a day of Thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who
dwelleth in the heavens."

- Abraham Lincoln, 1863
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Last Week's Puzzle Solution: Inconsistencies? (Sent by David Ting)

My assessment is that his car plunged into a body of water at night. Thus
it came to a halt. The water was dark and cold. He took off his overcoat
to be more maneuverable and not weighted down by the water. Fortunately,
he did not have power windows. He was relieved when he approached the
surface and saw the lights.

Here's the original puzzle:

Do you see any inconsistencies in the passage below? If so, are there ways
they might be resolved?

The man was worried. His car came to a halt, and he was all alone. It was
extremely dark and cold. The man took off his overcoat, rolled down the
window, and got out of the car as quickly as possible. Then he used all
his strength to move as fast as he could. He was relieved when he finally
saw the lights of the city, even though they were far away.

11/12/00: Party Opponents, Two Dogs

Hi,

If you have been following what is going on in the Internet economy, you
probably know that many startups are shutting down and laying off people.
Most of these startups didn't have a sustainable business model and venture
funding for startups have slowed down significantly.

As a result, my partner Steve Lee and I have decided to stop our own
startup venture, Leisure Planner. I am still positive that the use of
personalization technology in making people's lives better will happen, but
it may take a while and more likely to happen through established tech
companies.

I will be looking for a job in Southern Cal, either in marketing or
business development. I think that I'm most passionate about the wireless
and entertainment industries, since these industries are related to Leisure
Planner's products and services.

The two responses to last week's thought provoking question are Walt
Disney, and Coach Mike K, basketball coach of Duke U. (who would you like
to work for?)

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you had to select any
single manmade object that best represents your personality, what would it
be?"

This week's humor was forwarded from Anna Man and Genevieve Owyang. The
puzzle is from "The Ideal Problem Solver". Finally, the inspirational
piece was forwarded from Susan Hasegawa.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Party Opponents

Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The
Democratic chairman said, "I never pass up a chance to promote the party.
For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and
say, 'Vote Democratic.'"

His opponent said, "I have a better scheme, and it doesn't cost me a
nickel. I don't give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, 'Vote
Democratic.'"
_________________________________

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

VICE PRESIDENT GORE
I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I
will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the
chickens and I will not disappoint them.

GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the
road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of
strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN
I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his
or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken
should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.

SECRETARY CHENEY
Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help
crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER
Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers.
Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the
need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an
advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
__________________________________________________

Puzzle: Inconsistencies?

Do you see any inconsistencies in the passage below? If so, are there ways
they might be resolved?

The man was worried. His car came to a halt, and he was all alone. It was
extremely dark and cold. The man took off his overcoat, rolled down the
window, and got out of the car as quickly as possible. Then he used all
his strength to move as fast as he could. He was relieved when he finally
saw the lights of the city, even though they were far away.
__________________________________________________

Two Dogs

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this
manner:

"Inside of me there are two dogs.
One of the dogs is mean and evil.
The other dog is good.
The mean dog fights the good dog all the time."
When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied,
"The one I feed the most."

-- unknown
______________________________

Last Week's Puzzle Solution: Murder Mystery
(No one sent me the correct solution, so here's the solution from the book.)

This problem is similar to the classic nine-dot problem in that people tend
to make assumptions that are not necessarily true and that make a solution
impossible. In this case most people make the assumption that the tire
tracks were produced by a car. The only reason the sheriff knew which man
he wanted was because the tire tracks were produced by a wheelchair and the
man sitting in the middle of the porch was in a wheelchair.

Here's the original puzzle:

A county sheriff arrived at the scene of an apparent homicide and found the
victim lying on the side of the road, dead. The only clue to the crime was
a pair of tire tracks left on the little-traveled dirt road. The sheriff
followed the tracks to a country farmhouse less than a mile away. Although
there were three men sitting on the front porch, the sheriff was certain
that the man he wanted for questioning was sitting in the middle even
though he knew that none of the men had a car and none had mud on their
boots. How did the sheriff know he should question the man sitting in the
middle?

11/5/00: Golfing with Houlihan, Relationships

Hi,

I watched "Charlie's Angels" this past weekend and thought that it was very
funny and entertaining. It sort of spoofs/imitates MI2, the Matrix, and
Romeo Must Die. I highly recommend it.

A few friends and I also waited in a line of about 300 people to sign up to
be an extra in "Rush Hour 2", with Jackie Chan. If you're interested in
possibly being an extra in this film, call Background Players (the casting
company) at 310.535.7749. I'll let you know if I get called on to be an
extra.

Most of you probably know that I'm a strong Bush supporter. If you're
still undecided on who to vote for, let me know. I would be happy to share
with you why I'm voting for Bush.

The only response to last week's thought provoking question is Abraham
Lincoln.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could work for any
person in the world, who would it be, and what job would you want?"

This week's humor was forwarded from Anna Man. The puzzle is from "The
Ideal Problem Solver". Finally, the inspirational piece was forwarded from
Kelly Chu.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Golfing with Houlihan

A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he'd just
escaped a tornado.
"What's wrong?" a woman asked.
"I just lost a game to Houlihan," the pro said.
"What? But Houlihan's the worst player I've ever seen. How could he have
beaten you?"
"He tricked me," the pro said. "On the first tee, he asked for a handicap.
I told him he could have 30, 40, 50 strokes - any handicap he wanted. He
said, 'Just give me two gotchas.'"
"What's a gotcha?" asked the woman.
"That's what I wanted to know," the pro said. "Houlihan said, 'You'll see.'

Then, as I was teeing off, just as I had my club poised, he screamed out
'Gotcha!'"
"I can guess what happened," the woman said.
"Sure," the pro said. "The scream threw me off, and I missed the ball
completely."

"Understandable," the woman said. "But still, that's only one swing. How
did he win the game?"
The pro answered, "You try swinging at a golf ball while waiting for that
second 'gotcha!'"
__________________________________________________

Puzzle: Murder Mystery

A county sheriff arrived at the scene of an apparent homicide and found the
victim lying on the side of the road, dead. The only clue to the crime was
a pair of tire tracks left on the little-traveled dirt road. The sheriff
followed the tracks to a country farmhouse less than a mile away. Although
there were three men sitting on the front porch, the sheriff was certain
that the man he wanted for questioning was sitting in the middle even
though he knew that none of the men had a car and none had mud on their
boots. How did the sheriff know he should question the man sitting in the
middle?
__________________________________________________

Reason, Season or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you
figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you
have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through
a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you
physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and
they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then,
without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this
person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out
and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has
been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up
has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has
come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace
or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They
usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!
But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to
accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have
learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is
said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

When you receive this e-mail just recite the following prayer.

PRAYER:
May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are
exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite
possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you
have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be
content knowing that you are a child of God. Let His presence settle into
your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in
the sun. It is there for each and every one of you.
______________________________

Last Week's Puzzle Solution: Glasses
(Courtesy of Erik Smith. Quite a few of you sent me similar solutions. I
know it was a bit easy.)

This one is easy, just empty the 2nd glass into the 5th empty glass!