01/28/01: Football Joke, Rich Merchant

Hi,

Ugh! I was so excited to watch the Superbowl this year. I was expecting
the NY Giants to crush the Ravens. But the Ravens dominated the Giants.
After the Giants ran the kickoff back for the touchdown, I was hoping for a
comeback. I couldn't believe that the Ravens ran it back on the very next
play. It was quite demoralizing. After that, I was just watching the
commercials and looking forward to "Survivor".

What were your favorite Superbowl commercials this year? I hate to admit
it, but I really liked the one where the guy threw a pencil through the
roof into his boss' rear end. Also, the Bud spoof of their own "Wassup"
commercial was very funny.

I enjoyed Survivor II. Who do you think is going to win? I think maybe
Kel. I also think the second Survivor will be much more challenging
physically.

I found this website where you can get CD-ROM software for free! You only
pay $5 for shipping per CD. The titles are pretty decent. The website is:

https://www.unbeatabledeals.com/ubd/Default.asp

For example, you can get the Compton's Interactive Bible (in NIV version).

https://www.unbeatabledeals.com/UBD/products/product_detail.asp?Inventory=11
9

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you were to be a machine,
what machine would you be?"

Anna Man and Lily Chen forwarded the humor and inspirational pieces,
respectively.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Football Joke

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked
her how she liked the game.
"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for
25 cents," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"
_________________________________

Rich Merchant

Once upon a time there was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the
4th wife the most, adorned her with rich robes, and treated her to
delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always
wanted to show her off to his friends. However, the merchant is always in
great fear that she might run away with some other man.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always
patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant
faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always
help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great
contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care
of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and
although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to
die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4
wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest
clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you
follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she
walked away without another word. The answer cut like a sharp knife right
into the merchant's heart.

The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all
my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to
remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've
always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you
follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this
time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your
grave. "The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was
devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter
where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She
was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly
grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you
while I could have!"

CONCLUSION

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives.......

The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in
making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go
to others.

The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been
there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to
the grave.

The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of
material wealth and sensual pleasure. Guess what? It is actually the only
thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to
cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our
deathbed to lament.

01/21/01: Car Color, Optimist Creed

Hi,

Happy Chinese New Year!

I had an awesome week. I was energized by the superb small group leaders'
training conference up in Palmdale. The training guide is called
"Community Through Small Group", written by Thom Corrigan, from the Pilgrim
Training team, part of Navpress. I would highly recommend this small group
leaders training if it's offered in your area. I'll be co-leading a new
small group starting in February at my place. If you know anyone who is
looking for a small group in the San Fernando valley, please let me know.

On the way back from Palmdale, we suddenly decided to stop at Vasquez Rocks
Natural Area Park to hike up the rock formations. It was awesome! (I love
rock climbing, without the equipment.) Too bad it was getting dark, so we
had to turn back before reaching the high summit. Here's more info about
this place:

http://www.calendarlive.com/top/1,1419,L-LATimes-Search-X!PlaceDetail-7079,0
0.html

I watched "Thirteen Days" and thought it was very exciting and gripping. I
was slightly disappointed by the Lord of the Rings trailer, but I still
think it was be a great movie.

I met Larissa Lam at the ICC Conference last fall. She has now recorded
and released her own CD. Please check it out at:
http://www.larissalam.com/. You can even hear samples!

Three people replied to last week's thought provoking question about one
restaurant to eat in for the rest of your life. The answers were: Happy
Family Restaurant in Monterey Park, Nobu in the Bay Area, and Little Tokyo
on University (in New York City). Happy dining!

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you could easily visit one
known planet, which one would you go to?"

Josephine Cheung and Kelly Chu forwarded the humor and inspirational
pieces, respectively.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Car color: What's it say about you?
by Lucille Treganowan

Ancient Egyptians believed in chromatherapy, the ability to heal with
colors: Red stimulates mental energy, yellow stimulates the nerves, blue
heals organic disorders such as colds and hay fever, etc.

Modern car manufacturers believe in a version of the same thing: the
ability to sell with colors. Psychiatrists analyzed car-color choices for
a survey reported on K-LOVE radio, and here's what your car color says
about you:

Black: First choice of ambitious drivers who want to project an image of
success.

Red: You're outgoing and impulsive with a youthful attitude, but easily
bored.

Silver: You have great style and are often successful, but you tend to be
pompous.

White: White is the first choice of doctors and drivers who are reliable
and methodical.

Gray: Expresses understated good taste and indicates a safe, cautious
driver.

Blue: A team player who's sociable and friendly, yet lacks imagination.

So, if that's how the colors break down, just which colors will you see
most frequently on the road? According to a 1999 report from Dupont
Herberts Automotive Systems, the top sellers in the following categories
were:

SUVs, trucks and vans
1. White
2. Black
3. Dark/medium green
4. Dark/medium blue
5. Silver

Full/intermediate-size cars
1. White
2. Silver
3. Light brown
4. Medium/dark green
5. Black

Sport or compact cars
1. Silver
2. Black
3. White
4. Medium/dark green
5. Medium/dark blue

"But wait," you cry, "where's red on those lists?"

You thrill-seekers know there's no other color choice for impact and
excitement, and rest assured, red did show up in the Top 10 in those
categories. Why not the Top Five? It takes a certain type of personality
(as opposed to gender or age) to commit to red, and not every driver is
bold enough to go with it.

Car-color trends follow the fashion and decorating world. Hunter green was
a popular upholstery and wall accent a few years back, and, big surprise,
out came a number of cars particularly rugged, woodsy wheels like SUVs in
hunter green. I, personally, think it's anal to match your automobile to
your wainscoting, but hey, Martha Stewart's a bazillionaire, so who am I to
judge?

When choosing a car color, however, be sure to consider more than its
ability to match your wardrobe. Certain colors require particular care.
Keep this list handy when you choose:

White: Although grime looks terrible on a white car, it's the easiest color
to care for.
Black (and other dark colors): These are most susceptible to sun damage
because of their heavy absorption of ultraviolet rays.
Red: This also shows sun damage, so keep your car in a garage or shady port
whenever possible.
Pearl colors: These are the most difficult to work with. If the paint needs
to be re-touched, it must be matched to look right from both the front- and
side-angle views.

FYI, bird droppings do a real job on your car's paint, no matter what the
color. Clean bird bombs immediately or live with a
near-impossible-to-remove stain.

And while we're talking about car color, rest assured that no insurance
company will cop to charging more for certain car colors although some
drivers of red cars staunchly maintain that they are pulled over for
traffic violations more frequently.

If you're in the market for a new car and you're thinking about trying a
new color, consider my personal favorites:

Luxury car: Any Mercedes in black.

Sports car: A Mazda Miata, and it must be red.

SUV: I'm a Blazer fan, and I like the trendy dark greens.

Family car: A Volvo in silver or tan says slick, but responsible.

Truck: A Dodge in dark blue, solid and strong.

Compact: A new VW Bug in yellow is fun, flirty and easy to find in a
parking lot. Whatever color you choose, wear it with style and keep it
clean. No car looks cool with "Wash Me" scrawled in grime on the side.
_________________________________

Optimist Creed

Every once in awhile our emotion rise and fall. I found an optimist creed
quiet helpful when thing does not go our way. So this new year promise
yourself.....

1. To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

2. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

3. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

4. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

5. To think only the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the
best.

6. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about
your own.

7. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater
achievements of the future.

8. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living
creature you meet a smile.

9. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no
time to criticize others.

10. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

With this said I wish everyone a great New Year. (And a Happy Chinese New
Year!)

01/14/01: Women & Men, Mrs. Thompson

Hi,

I'm very excited that the NY Giants beat the Vikings in their playoff game
today. Now, I'll really look forward to watching the Superbowl, instead of
just watching it for the interesting commercials.

If you like to watch Asian movies, here's a good article in the NY Times
that discusses the new wave of Asian movies. I'm hoping to watch Edward
Yang's critically acclaimed, "Yi-Yi", if it ever opens here in LA.

http://www.nytimes.com/2001/01/14/arts/14KEHR.html

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you had to eat in only one
restaurant for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?"

Jennifer Chin and Kelly Chu forwarded the humor and inspirational pieces,
respectively.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

WOMEN

Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry
hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They
smile when they want to scream. They sing when they are nervous. Women wait
by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a friend after a snowy drive
home.

Women have special qualities about them. They volunteer for good causes.
They are pink ladies in hospitals, they bring food to shut-ins. They are
child care workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes,
and your neighbors. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for
injustice. They are in the front row at PTA meetings. They walk and talk
the extra mile to get their children in the right schools and for getting
their family the right health care. They stick a love note in their lover's
lunch box. They do without new shoes so their children can have them. They
go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally.

Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that
knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to
make a point. Women want to be the best for their family, their friends,
and themselves. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their
friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new
marriage. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the
loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no
strength left. A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.

Women drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about
you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin!

Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give
compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.
And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to
people you come in contact with.

MEN

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and killing bugs.
_________________________________

Her name was Mrs. Thompson.

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of
school, she told the children a lie.

Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them
all the same.

But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his
seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't
play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he
constantly needed a bath.

And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson
would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen,
making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each
child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last.

However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready
laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be
around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked
by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal
illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death had been hard on him. He
tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his
home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show
much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes
sleeps in class".

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.

She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents,
wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's.

His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from
a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the
other presents.

Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet
with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one quarter full of
perfume.

But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the
bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs.
Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day,
she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began
to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him,
his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he
responded.

By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in
the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the
same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."

A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that
she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote
that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the
best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had
been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would
soon graduate from college with the highest of honors.

He assured Mrs.Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he
ever had in his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he
explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a
little further.

The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he
ever had. But now his name was a little longer-the letter was signed,
Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that
spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married. He
explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was
wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding
that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom.

Of course, Mrs. Thompson did.

And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones
missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy
remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.

They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear,
"Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making
me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy,
you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a
difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Warm someone's heart today . . . pass this along.

Please remember that wherever you go, and whatever you do, you will have
the opportunity to touch and/or change a person's outlook. Please try to do
it in a positive way.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble
remembering how to fly."

01/07/01: Saturday Golf, Remember When

Hi,

Have you ever bought an item that you thought you had a great bargain?
Well, one of my favorite purchases is a huge, heavy, expensive-looking
coffee table art book called, "Rembrandt and the Bible". This book shows
all of the Rembrandt paintings and drawings taken from the text of the
Bible, along with those passages. Years ago, I went to a warehouse sale at
CBD. On one of the 'damaged books' table was this copy of the book.
However, only the paper cover was slightly torn. So, I'm really proud of
finding this bargain. What's your favorite bargain purchase?

So one of the major things I did in New York over the holidays was to dig
through hundreds of my books (I've always loved to buy books), stored in
boxes and bookshelves in my parents' house. I wanted to look for books
that I wanted to bring back to LA. As I was leafing through the books, I
decided to re-read the J.R.R Tolkien trilogy "Lord of the Rings" in advance
of the movie coming out later this year. I also read several books by John
Trent and Gary Smalley (I highly recommend them), and looked over my high
school and college year books.

I also ate out very often with family and friends in Queens and Manhattan.
One of the cool, trendy restaurants that I recommend is this Asian fusion
restaurant called "Rain", on 3rd Ave., between 62nd & 63rd St.

Although I had fun in NY, I'm glad to be back in LA, with its warmer
weather and no snow. The snow storm actually knocked out the phone service
in the neighborhood for 3 days.

This week's thought provoking question is: "If you were to have one famous
person alive or from history stranded with you on an island forevermore,
who would you want it to be?" (In honor of "Castaway", which I also
recommend.)

Anna Man and Jennifer Deniega forwarded the humor and inspirational pieces,
respectively.

Enjoy!

-Josh.
______________________________________________

Saturday Golf

Ed arrived home some six hours late from his usual Saturday golf foursome.
Edna, his wife, immediately lit into him: "You have some nerve leaving me
home alone all day. I had to cancel dinner with our friends and send the
baby sitter home. You better have a good explanation, mister!"

Flustered, Ed told Edna that their game was interrupted by the untimely
sudden death of Stan, one of their playing partners. "Edna, honey, Stan
died of a massive heart attack just as we were about to tee off on two. If
there's a silver lining, it's that he went suddenly doing what he loved
best."

Saddened, Edna comforted her husband, "I'm so sorry. But tell me
something," Edna asked, with a note of anger returning to her voice, "If he
died on the first tee, what took you so long?"

"Well," said Ed, "for the next seventeen holes it was the same thing: Hit
the ball and drag Stan, Hit the ball and drag Stan."
_________________________________

Remember When

I want to go back to the time when............
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
"Money issues" were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best friends."
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and
rules didn't matter.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.
It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides
at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.
No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, than you have LIVED!!!
You're IT!
Send this to anyone who may need a break from their "Grown Up" Life!!!!!!!!