Weekly Email, 6/30/97: Interesting Puzzle

Hi everyone,

Instead of a humor email this week, I thought I would send you this
interesting brain-teaser forwarded to me by Candy Liang. Sorry if
you've already received it before. I've been working on it for about a
week, and I'm still missing #s 11, 12, 17, 18, 19, 21, 27. I don't
think I'll ever get these, so if you get one of these, please let me
know. Have fun!

-Josh.
______________________________________________________________________________

This test does not measure intelligence, your fluency with words,
creativity or mathematical ability. It will, however, give you some
gauge of your mental flexiblity. In the three years since the test was
developed, few people have been found who could solve more than half of
the 30 questions of the first try. Many, however, reported getting
answers long after the testing had been set aside, particularly at
unexpected moments when their minds were relaxed. Some reported solving

all the questions over a period of several days. Take the test as your
personal challenge.
20 correct answers out of the 30 = Genius.
Instructions: Each equation below contains the initials of words that
will make it correct. Furnish the missing words.
For example: 60 = M in an H, which is 60 Minutes in an Hour.
1. 26 = L of the A
2. 7 = W of the A W
3. 1001 = A N
4. 12 = S of the Z
5. 54 = C in a D (with the J)
6. 9 = P in the S S
7. 88 = P K
8. 13 = S on the A F
9. 18 = H on a G C
10. 32 = D F at which W F
11. 8 = S on a S S
12.200 = D for P G in M
13. 3 = B M (S H T R)
14. 90 = D in a R A
15. 4 = Q in a G
16. 24 = H in a D
17. 1 = W on a U
18. 5 = D in a Z C
19. 57 = H V
20. 11 = P on a F T
21.1000 = W that a P is W
22. 29 = D in F in a L Y
23. 64 = S on a C
24. 40 = D and N of G F
25. 80 = D to G A the W
26. 2 = # it T to T
27. 6 = P on the S of D
28. 50 = W to L Your L
29. 31 = F of B R
30. 40 = H in a W W


GOOD LUCK!

Humor 6/22/97: Forest Gump

Hi everyone,

Hope your weekend went well. The following was forwarded from Anna
Man. Sorry if you've received it already from her extensive
distribution list. Take care!

-Josh.
__________________________________________________________________________

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met

at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed,
however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We
have
heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up
fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.

The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into

Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was
looking
forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore
hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest. But, the test I have for you

is only three questions. Here is the first:

"What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
"Second, how many seconds are there in a year?"
"Third, what is God's first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day
and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to
think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with

the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"


The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I
was thinking, but ... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn't
specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"


"Now that one's harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven's

name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February
second, March second....."

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it.
And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I
had in mind. I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can
you tell me God's first name?"

Forrest says, "Well shore, I know God's first name. Everbody probly
knows it. It's Howard."

"Howard?" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it's Howard'?"

Forrest answers, "It's in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"

"The Lord's Prayer," responds Forrest: "Our Father who art in heaven,
Howard be thy name...."

Not Quite Humor, 6/16/97: Psychological Personality Test

Hi everyone,

I received the following interesting little personality test from a
friend, who wants to remain nameless. Apparently, it claims to gauge
your attitude on love. Sorry if you have already received a copy. Hope
things are going well!

-Josh.

******** PSYCHOLOGICAL PERSONALITY TEST************

1) You are walking to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house.
There are two roads to get there.
One is a straight path which takes you there quickly, but is very plain

and boring.
The other is curvy and full of wonderful sights on the way, but takes
quite
a while to reach your loved one's house.

====> WHICH PATH DO YOU CHOOSE? short or long?

2) On the way, you see two rose bushes.
One is full of white roses, One is full of red roses.
You decide to pick 20 roses for your boyfriend/girlfriend.
====> WHAT COLOR COMBINATION DO YOU CHOOSE? (any combo including all one

color is fine)

3) You finally get to your boyfriend/girlfriend's house.
You ring the bell and the maid answers.
You can ask the maid to please get your loved one, or you may go get
him/her
yourself.

====> WHICH ACTION DO YOU TAKE? ask the maid or do it yourself?

4) Now, you go up to your girlfriend/boyfriends room.
No one is there.
You can leave the roses by the windowsill, or on the bed.

=====> WHERE DO YOU PUT THE ROSES? bed or window?

5) Later, its time for bed. You and your loved one go to sleep, in
separate
rooms.
You wake up in the morning, and go to your boyfriend/girlfriend's room
to
check up on him/her. You enter the room:

=====> IS HE/SHE AWAKE OR SLEEPING? (pick one)

6) It's time to go home now, and you start to head back.
You can take either road home now:
The plain, boring one thats gets you home fast; or the curvy,
sight-filled
road that you can just casually take your time with.

====> WHICH ROAD DO YOU CHOOSE? short or long?

************okay thats the end! Now scroll down for an
analysis.****************

> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> (hold on)
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> (here it comes)
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> *********ANALYSIS*****************
> >>
> >>
1. The roads represent your attitude towards falling in love.
If you chose the short one, you fall in love quickly and easily.
If you chose the long one, you take your time and do not fall in love
easily.

2. The number of red roses represent how much you expect to GIVE in a
relationship.
The number of white roses represent how much you EXPECT in a
relationship.
Therefore, if a person chose all red with one white, he/she gives 90% in

the
relationship but expects to receive only 10% back.

3. This question shows your attitude in handling relationship problems.

If you asked the maid to get your loved one, then you may beat around
the
bush, maybe asking a third party to intervene. Avoidance of problems
runs
high.
If you went and got your loved one yourself, then you are pretty direct.

If there is a problem, you confront it and deal with it. You want to
work
it out
right away.

4. The placement of the roses indictate how often you'd like to see your

boyfriend/girlfriend. Placing the roses on the bed : You need lots of
reassurance in the relationship, and you'd want to see your loved one
every
day, if
possible.
Placing the roses by the window show: You don't expect or need to see
your
loved one that often; seeing them just once in a while is OK.

5. Finding your boyfriend/ girlfriend ASLEEP: You accept your loved one
the
way they are.
Finding them AWAKE: You expect him/her to CHANGE for you.

6. The short and long roads now represent how long you stay in love.
If you chose the short one, you fall OUT of love easily.
If you chose the long one, you tend to stay IN love for a long time.
**************** THE END************************

Not Quite Humor, 6/9/97: Attitude is Everything

Hi everyone,

I hope your weekend went well. This email was forwarded to me, as well
to some of you already, by Anna Man. I'm not sure I agree with the
blanket statement "Attitude is Everything", but it is definitely
important. Take care and have a great week!

-Josh.
____________________________________________________________________________

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.........By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always
in a good mood and always had something positive to say.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply,
"If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who
had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason
the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a
natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was
there telling the employee how to look on the positive side
of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry
and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of
the
time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied,
"Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two
choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can
choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each
time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can
choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time
someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their
complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the
positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you
cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You
choose how you react to situations. You choose how people
will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad
mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the
restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but
often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead
of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did
something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant
business: he left the back door open one morning and
was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to
open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the
ombination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was
found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After
18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was
released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his
body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I
asked him how he was, he replied,
"If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone
through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that
went through my mind was that I should have locked the back
door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered
that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose
to die. I chose to live.

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued,
"The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to
be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I
saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got
really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man. " I knew I
needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said
Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The
doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply...
I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I
told
them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his
amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice
to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Humor 6/1/97: Religious Math

Hi everyone,

Here's this week's humor email, forwarded by Anna Man. Enjoy! -Josh.
__________________________________________________________________

A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from
tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a
family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic
school.

After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in
after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his

face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly
closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn

about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat,

and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room,
closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.
This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first
quarter report card.

The boy walked in with his report card -- unopened -- laid it on the
dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother
opened it, and to her amazement, she saw a bright red "A" under the
subject of MATH. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's
room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.

"Was it the nuns that did it?", the father asked. The boy only shook his

head and said, "No."

"Was it the one-on-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"

"No."

"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"

"Nope," said the son. "On that first day, when I walked in the front
door
and saw that guy they nailed to the 'plus sign,' I just knew they meant
business!"